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“You believed her.”

He winced at my hurt tone. “I … Look, Taran hasn’t been sleeping great, which means I’m not sleeping great, and all I do is toss and turn worrying about her, about you, about Heather being in France, and Angus being a wee turd.”

I pinched my lips against a smile at the latter.

“I reacted without thinking and I’m sorry.”

Letting out a beleaguered sigh, I slumped into the couch. “I can’t exactly hold that against you since reacting without thinking is my entire personality.”

My big brother chuckled. “Not your entire personality.”

“I just … All I tried to do with Mum was open a dialogue about why we don’t talk and why we never talk.” I leaned forward. “Talking to the counselor about Greig made me look a bit deeper at myself. One of the reasons I let everyone think that I don’t need anyone is because Mum never made me feel like I could ask for help. Neither did Greg. I know you have all this gratitude toward him because he gave us a stable home and made Mum feel looked after again, so I would tell everyone that we thought of Greg as our dad.” My lips trembled with emotion. “But I never actually thought that, Quinn. I always thought that to him I was kind of a pain in the arse. Just someone who was there that he had to put up with because he wanted Mum so badly.”

Quinn’s brows drew together. “I don’t think he thinks that, Cammie.”

“When we were younger, that’s how he made me feel.”

My brother took my point with a careful nod. “Okay.”

“Mum always found it easier to talk with you. She never talked with me. When I asked her about what would happen when I got my period, she got all weird and flustered like she’d never had a period herself. The next thing I know she dropped me off at Dr. Molly’s so she could explain it to me, which was mortifying. Do you know it was Taran who took care of me when I got my first period?”

Quinn frowned, obviously disturbed by this new information. When Heather got her period, Kiera was off island for a friend’s birthday celebration, so Quinn took Heather to the store to get her what she needed. No embarrassment. No qualms. “Taran didn’t tell me that.”

“I asked her not to. But aye, she took care of me through that, not Mum. And maybe she and I are both to blame. Maybe if I’d just been more vulnerable with her, I could have gone to her with that stuff. But when Dad left without a word and never came back and Mum fobbed me off on other folks, it didn’t really instill much trust. You were the only one I trusted growing up. You, Taran, and Forde. Never Mum or Greg. Dad ceased to exist for me, wherever he is now. Mum? She stayed. I give her credit for that. However, I can’t explain it, Quinn. I’ve just felt like she’s quietly judged me my whole life and lately she’s said a few things that made me believe I’m not imagining it.”

Quinn leaned toward me. “Taran told me what Mum said about you not settling down and getting pregnant.”

“Oh, that’s nothing compared to being told I’m a drama queen who shouldn’t have gone to the police about Greig because of how it’ll impact you and Taran. Now tell me she doesn’t make a difference between us.”

Anger flashed over his face. “She should never have said that. And she knows it. I told her she needs to apologize, or she’s not welcome in any of our lives until she does.”

Gratitude didn’t cure my hurt. “I appreciate that. But even if she regrets saying it, it’s what she believes.”

“And she’s wrong.” His expression was fierce. “She’s wrong, Cammie. You … I couldn’t be prouder of you for what you did.”

Tears blurred my vision. “I … I don’t think anything will ever be the same between me and her after that. It’s not about forgiveness. It’s knowing … it’s knowing that for whatever reason, she didn’t take to me like she took to you.”

“She loves you.”

“Aye, but I don’t think she gets me or likes me very much.”

“I refuse to believe that,” he whispered hoarsely. “Try talking to her again.”

My tears spilled free. “I know you think I can handle anything, Quinn … but deep down it hurts beyond bearing not to have a mum who I can turn to. I’m not a glutton for punishment.”

He bit out a curse as he promptly pushed out of the chair to come around to the couch. My big brother sat, pulling me into his arms, and something must be wrong with me because I didn’t push back against his offered comfort. Instead, I fell against him, holding on as he smoothed a hand over my hair.

“Whatever happens with Mum, you always have me,” he promised gruffly. “Never think you can’t come to me for anything. I love you, Cammie. I’d do anything for you.”

I sobbed a wee bit harder at that, holding on a little tighter too.

29. Forde

The Fisherman’s Lantern was packed to the rafters.

Somehow Murray and London had secured a booth before the rest of us arrived to claim the seats around it. Murray sat with his arm around his wife, and to my frustration Torin Montrose sat on Murray’s other side. Though I’d escorted Cameron here, she took the last spot in the booth next to Torin, and I was left to sit opposite, across the table next to Murray’s cousin, Fraser, and Laird, Taran’s brother and my fellow pipe band member.

Ramsay and Tierney were absent, and Taran was too tired to come out. Therefore, Quinn had stayed home with her and Angus.