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“It doesn’t matter.” She won’t meet my eyes and I know I’m going to hate it.
“Talia,” I urge.
Her gaze flicks to mine. “He told me you were made for this life and that if I stood in your way, things wouldn’t end well for us. It sounded like he was talking from experience, and I didn’t want to believe him, but…”
“It didn’t end well for us, though, did it? You were never going to stand in my way, and even if you did—” I drag my fingers through my hair, pulling at the roots as I jump to my feet. “Fuck. This was all for nothing. The time we spent apart, the hurt I caused.”
“Don’t.” Talia snatches up my wrist, stopping me. There’s no anger or resentment aimed my way. If anything, she stares up at me with sympathy. “It changes nothing. Fuck Howard. If he did what we think he did, you have to tell Vanessa and the label. That’s a major breach of trust and confidence. There’s a morality clause in your contract.” Talia read the contract after I signed it, and of course she remembers every detail. But even as she throws options at me, she knows as well as I do that the process to end my contract could take weeks. And weeks we do not have.
Her words should relieve me. Instead, profound sadness sweeps through me, bringing me to my knees at her feet. I smother my next words, despising them, with my face pressed to her stomach. “They want me back next week.”
Talia goes rigid underneath me.
I don’t know which way is up or what to make of this entire situation. The moment we make progress, something worms its way in, rotting everything.
“Next week.” Hurt seeps into her voice. “You’ll be gone again for our anniversary.”
When I finally look up, the sadness in her eyes matches my own. I nod. “I never thought they’d give me two weeks, let alone six, and I was right to doubt their generosity.” I curl my fingers around her hips, digging through her satin robe. “I have no right to ask this of you, not after what I put us through, but please, Tally Girl, wait for me. Say we can survive another year if it comes down to it.” I plead with her, shaking with the fear this final hurdle could be the one we never make it over. “Please, baby. When my term is up, I’m done. I want nothing outside of us, apart from giving you babies and making so many more beautiful memories together.”
She swallows. “I’m scared.”
“I am too, but we will get through this.”
Talia doesn’t deny me. She doesn’t agree either.
Instead, she hauls me up her body and seals her mouth with mine. I accept this for now, understand her apprehension and fears, and rather than push her for an answer, I reacquaint myself with my wife’s body until she has to start work.
She emerges at lunchtime, just as I’m plating up a Cobb salad for us both. She seems lost in thought, probably rolling ideas in her head, calculating how this will work when the life I’ve locked myself in for the next year is one she wants to stay far away from.
“Eat up. You’ll need your energy for tonight.” I wink at her.
Her mouth twists as she fights her blushing smile. “This looks nice. I’ll miss your cooking…” She trails off.
“I know.” I squeeze her hand from across the table. It’s the first of many things we’re going to miss. “Will you let me do something for you?”
“What?” she asks suspiciously.
“Let me arrange for freshly prepared meals to be sent here while I’m away. And before you say it’s unnecessary, or that I need to stop spending money on you, there are plenty of affordable local companies. If I’m not here to keep you fed, let me do it from afar. Let me look after you while I’m not here.”
As quickly as they went up, her walls lower. “Only if they cook as good as your momma.”
“Not me?” I slap a hand to my chest. “You wound me.”
Talia stares at her bowl. “I wish we got to a better place sooner. Now we only have six days left together, with no clue when you’ll be home again. The label will work you to the bone in punishment for your absence. You have to look after yourself this time, Tate. I don’t want another phone call like I had this summer.” Her face contorts with worry. “Who will look after you when you’re not here?”
“My sweet girl.” I lean over and tug at a lock of her hair. “One day soon, all the fuss and chaos will be behind us.”
“You know it’s not going to change overnight, right?”
I grimace. “Unfortunately.”
Just because I don’t want to extend my contract or plan on releasing any new music, doesn’t mean I disappear off the face of the earth. My songs will always be out there. It will be nice to walk down the street without hiding my identity or worrying about being accosted when I’m out with Talia. The news will speculate until they’re blue in the face when I step off the scene, but so long as they leave my marriage and her out of it, I can handle whatever they have to say.
“Will you go back to performing at the distillery? Harriet still hasn’t returned since having Ethan, and I don’t know if she plans to.” Talia stabs a little of everything onto the tines of her fork. “Jimmy would have you back in a heartbeat.”
I tap at the side of my bowl, laughing lightly. “You know, I’ve spent so long regretting my career change and hunting down ways of getting out early, I never put any thought into what I’d do at the end.” She doesn’t ask, but I put her mind at ease. “The house is paid for, you know this. If I don’t find work at first, I’ll have enough money to support myself for a while—support us. I’ll land on my feet.”
Talia considers the kitchen with the same indifferent expression she wore the day I told her I’d bought it for us. For the first time, I can see it through her eyes. It is a big, stupid house. There are too many windows, far too many bedrooms, even when we have kids to fill them with. And it just isn’t Talia.
