Page 111

It just took me this long to accept that not only did I like the fact that they wanted me so much to the point that they stalked and kidnapped me, but that I fucking swoon over it now when I think of it.

I think the reason I fought with myself for so long was because I’ve convinced myself something was wrong with me. That my unusual desires were wrong, that I was mentally ill.

These past weeks with the guys have shown me that there’s nothing wrong with me, at least not if I’m with the right person.

Or in my case, persons.

I’ve felt nothing but happiness, excitement, and giddiness after what happened with Shepherd last night. I finally give in and admit what I want.

I want them. I want to be loved and cared for by them. I don’t want to worry I’m going to end up alone forever. I want to spend my life with them, to have their babies, to see where life takes us.

Am I worried about the lifestyle they live and what it’s going to be like once we’re out of this little bubble we’ve been living in? Yes.

I’m not sure how I’m going to enjoy living the Bratva life. A life filled with dangerous people. People who could be enemies, who might want to hurt my guys and our family. People who, like Rafe, could try to use me to get to them.

Then I think, what if my life is a lot like it is now? Only, I get to leave the property, go see Olivia, then come home to my men after they’re done working.

I know they wouldn’t just let me walk around unprotected. I don’t think they’ve done that since they’ve come back.

Part of me wondered that if they were always watching, then why didn’t they help? If they saw me struggling at my job, with my car, with my boss, why not do something about it?

Then I remember that it’s not their job, and I shouldn’t expect anything from anyone. Also, if they wanted to remain in the shadows, then they couldn’t have intervened, or I’d have been suspicious.

Then I got to thinking, maybe they were more involved in the background than they let on.

Like the times I went to get my truck fixed, thinking it was something serious, but when I went to go pay, they’d tell me it was some minor thing they fixed, and my bill was half the price of what I was expecting. Then I remember the last time I got my truck fixed, and I had to pay out my ass for the repairs. But then again, that guy was new. I never saw him before, so maybe that could have something to do with it?

There's also the fact that over the past few years, any regulars at the bar that got too handsy with me would eventually stop coming in. Was that the guys’ doing? Did they kill them for me?

What about the men just passing through, did the guys get rid of them too?

It’s little things I keep thinking of that have me thinking, what if.

Maybe I’m crazy and overthinking things. Maybe I’m just grasping at straws and trying to make myself feel better.

All of this has got me wondering how much my life is going to change. How would all this work?

I’m swimming in the pool, just enjoying the cool water under this summer heat when I hear the sounds of Shepherd’s laughter, Saint’s subtle remarks, and Maverick’s baritone voice.

A warm feeling flutters inside me as excitement bubbles to life.

I feel like a teenager with a crush.

Only these guys aren’t some cute high school boys, they’re the men who treat me like I’m something special while murdering anyone who poses a threat to me.

I’m literally living my dream right now. I can’t believe I’ve tried to fight this for even a moment.

But with my past, can you blame me?

Ducking under the water, I swim from one side of the pool to the other.

When I pop my head up, I wipe the water from my eyes, opening them only to notice the sun is gone. Frowning, I look up, and all the air is sucked from my lungs.

All three of them are here, standing over me. “Hey, Little Bunny.” Shepherd gives me a smirk that has my insides melting, and a knowing wink that has my cheeks turning a bright red.

He came inside me, then put in a plug to keep his cum inside me. It was the hottest thing someone has done to me, and something I had no idea I’d be into.

All I’ve wanted since I took it out this morning in the shower was to find him, have him fuck me within an inch of my life, fill me up, and put it back in me.