Page 135

So, seeing that he’s not here has me wondering, where did they all go?

Did they get a call from their dad and leave to go do something for him? It’s not like them to leave without telling me.

“Relax, Cove. You’re overreacting. It’s not a big deal. Just get up and go see.”

I’ve come to find out there’s been a bit of a downside to accepting that I had real feelings for the guys.

Okay, that I was madly in love with them is more like it.

The harder I fall for them, the more I overthink things.

Am I too much? Will the things I say or do turn them off, push them away? Will they eventually get bored of me and leave? Now that they got me, does the real thing not live up to the obsession?

It turns out my ex fucked me up so much more than I even realized. It easily slid under the radar when I wasn’t dating anyone, without the ability to bring those insecurities to the surface.

Ronny didn’t just abuse me, he cheated on me too. It wasn’t often, but when he did, he’d love to rub it in that they were better than me.

After a while, I kind of just became numb to it all. When you shut down, words don’t hurt. That is until one day, when you’re almost dead, and you're forced to confront your reality.

I’ve debated asking the guys if they would mind if I gave my therapist a call. I don’t want these feelings, these thoughts, to turn into an issue.

I love how I’m trying to encourage a healthy relationship when this one started off with stalking and kidnapping and now thrives on murder and depravity.

But I’m trying, so that should count for something, right?

Throwing the blankets off, I grab one of the guys’ shirts and my panties from the floor and slip them on before heading out of the room.

The moment I step out into the hallway, the sound of a woman's laughter has every alarm inside my head going off.

A wave of nausea slams into me. A woman is in the house. And it’s not Maria. Why is there a woman here?

My heart starts to race as I break out into a nervous sweat.

Swallowing hard, I walk toward the stairs with a sinking feeling in my chest.

All three of my men left me alone in my bed to go sneak around in the middle of the night with another fucking woman?

Tears sting the back of my eyes.

Breath. Relax. I’m sure there's a reasonable explanation.

But is there? The guys have never mentioned having a female friend, or being close to any women apart from Maria. If she’s here this late, it has to be someone they’re familiar with.

Are they keeping secrets from me? Have they been lying to me this whole time?

Slowly, I make my way down the stairs.

The sounds of their conversation grow louder. All three of them are talking to her. I might not be able to make out what they’re saying but I know the tones of their voices.

Every time she laughs or speaks, it makes the hair on the back of my neck rise.

Who the fuck is she and why the fuck is she laughing with my guys!?

Bitting my lower lip, I tiptoe to the living room and peek around the corner.

That’s when my whole fucking world crashes.

Now that fall is creeping in, we started lighting the fireplace whenever we spend time down here at night.