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He looked like emotions might explode out of him. His voice remained even, but the stress was etched deep in the lines around his eyes and on his forehead.

“I have no idea what to say. I know I can’t make it better or make it go away.”

“To be honest with you, being with you helps. I can’t explain it, but you calm me down.”

Dropping the whisk in the batter mid-stir, I went and pulled him in close for a good, proper hug. He laid his head against my chest, and I just held him. We stayed that way for a few minutes until he pulled back and looked up and me.

“As much as this is wonderful, I’d really like some food. The lingering bacon smell is really making me hungry.”

We chuckled, and I gave him one last squeeze. “Fair enough. Nothing quite like that smell to kick in the hungry.”

I popped the oven on warm and set my large skillet—also a gift from Mom—on a burner. “I’m thinking be ready to scramble eggs in about fifteen minutes.”

“I saw some sausage in your fridge. Any chance we can cook up some of that too?”

“More pork is never wrong.”

We fell into a good rhythm. He cooked sausage while I made pancakes. He’d open the oven and slide out the rack so I could add to the ones warming. When it was time, he got the eggs going.

Again, all this was a flash of what a future could be. He’d be in more comfortable clothes. There might even be a kid. A wave of sadness rolled through me since this seemed unattainable with him.

It didn’t take long to have the meal ready and laid out across the breakfast bar. We sat at the corner so we were close—our knees touching—and could look at each other.

We ate in silence for a few minutes. Unlike our first postgame meal, I kept myself from devouring everything at once. Although he did eat at a good clip himself.

“This is really good. Once again, your mom comes through.”

“Yeah. She’s awesome.” I sighed as nerves clinched my chest. I couldn’t delay anymore. “I have to ask, what happened? I didn’t hear from you at all. We went from an amazing night to dead silence.”

Now he released a heavy sigh.

Here we go.

TWENTY-SIX

AUSTIN

HE LOCKED EYES WITH ME. Could I just say nothing and eat?

Of course not.

After his amazing hug, talking about my withdrawal became more difficult.

“I… I… pulled back.” Fuck that. I couldn’t let the anxiety get the better of me and retreat to stumbling over words. “It wasn’t right. You deserved to know where my head was, but I put everything I had into work. You know how important it is to me and how the thought of losing it terrifies me, which is exactly where I’m at right now. I lost focus… and I have no idea what to do.”

He looked like I’d punched him. The bit of a smile he’d had disappeared, and a storm rolled through his beautiful eyes.

“I don’t know what to do now.” The speed that the words spilled out of my mouth increased. “There are parts of us that are so good together. You calm me down, make me happy. I want that, but I don’t know if I can have a boyfriend and a company. I know that’s sappy, but it’s how I feel.”

He almost opened his mouth, but I plowed ahead, afraid that if I stopped before I said it all that I’d chicken out.

“So much of me wants us to work. But I don’t know how to give you the boyfriend you deserve. And I know I should let some of the work go for my sanity. I know that here.” I tapped on my head and then my heart. “But there’s a part”—I tapped on my head again—“terrified about getting into a position where I can’t take care of the people that are important.”

My fork rattled against the plate as my hand shook. I talked okay, but other parts of me were freaking out.

Kyle kept his eyes trained on me. I suppose I should be glad that he hasn’t already decided that we’re done. The very thing he’d been worried about—the job, lack of attention, all of it—was happening.

“We’ve got the same problems,” Kyle said, and I raised my eyebrows in surprise. “Phoenix looms. It’s just a matter of time. And then what? As much as I don’t want to leave home, I’m not gonna have a choice unless I walk away from my career, and, of course, I’m not going to do that. But me in Phoenix and you in Detroit. How is that good for us? Especially since we’re barely a couple. And I haven’t exactly been totally fair to you. You built AMDD from the ground up. How can I expect you to give me more attention than you give that? I was a shit even suggesting it.”