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“Lee—” Logan stepped forward as if to stop him. “Wait. Please,” she begged, desperation bleeding through her tone.

“I can’t…” Levi shook his head. And then the guy wrapped his arm around Levi’s shoulder, ushering him away.

“I, um…” Logan’s voice, like her hands, was shaky. “I have to… I have to go.”

“Lo,” I pleaded.

She rolled her bottom lip between her teeth, hands trembling. I could tell that she was close to falling apart. I wanted to be there to catch her, to hold her in my arms, to reassure her it would be okay. But I could feel her rebuilding those walls I’d worked so hard to break through.

She swiped away a tear. “I’ll catch a ride with Georgia. I’m going to stay at her place tonight.”

I wanted to fight Logan on it, but it was clear the evening had taken a toll on all of us. She was asking for space, and I needed to respect that. “Text me if you need anything. I’m here whenever you want to talk.”

She nodded but said nothing more. And as I watched her disappear into the house, I wondered if she’d ever be able to forgive me.

After a long, sleepless night, I was headed to the Huxley Grand LA where Levi and Alan were staying. Despite my tumultuous emotions, I’d forced myself to take a shower and slick my hair back into a ponytail. I was dressed in casual clothes, needing the comfort of something cozy to blunt the pain of last night.

Even after all my hours of tossing and turning and thinking, I remained confused and hurt and conflicted. I finally knew what had happened all those years ago, and a big part of me wished I didn’t.

My brother’s mistrust made sense, and I hated that Carson had played a role in one of the most painful experiences in my brother’s life. I felt sick at the thought that Levi had been shunned by Carson’s family for his sexuality, targeted and threatened, kicked out. I could only imagine how that had made him feel. He’d been betrayed by the person closest to him, the man I loved.

I squeezed my eyes shut, willing myself not to cry. Because if I did, I might not be able to stop.

I could understand why Levi had felt the need to keep his sexual orientation a secret, especially after something like that. I could remember what a big deal it had been for Coach Cross to come out. Even so, I couldn’t help but wonder why Levi had never confided in me—about his sexuality, about what had happened with Carson and his family all those years ago.

And if I hadn’t known, surely my parents didn’t know either. My mom had always seemed like such a fan of Carson’s. Would that change if she discovered the truth? Would she feel torn, as I did, between these two men? Or would she automatically side with my brother, fracturing my family even further if Carson and I stayed together?

Stayed together… I rubbed a spot on my chest.

Did I truly think I could give him up? And if I couldn’t, what kind of person did that make me? Loving a man who had so deeply hurt my brother?

It seemed like an easy answer—straightforward. But this situation was far from it.

I couldn’t deny the fact that Carson had fucked up—big-time. But he’d tried to correct his mistake. He’d tried to apologize. He’d even tried to protect my brother, to the best of his abilities.

Carson had mentioned his strict upbringing, but I was only beginning to understand just how restrictive their household had been. I couldn’t imagine living in a family like that. I couldn’t imagine my parents ever doing something like that. And as much as I disagreed with his family’s beliefs, it pained me that Carson had to end his relationship with his family in order to follow his heart.

I sighed, riding the elevator up to the fifth floor. What a mess.

I was a mess.

I had no idea if Levi would want to talk to me this morning, but I had to try. I couldn’t let him go back to Dallas without attempting to explain or understand.

I knocked on the door to their room, and Alan answered. “Hey.” He leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms over his chest. I loved that this man loved my brother so fiercely.

“Hey. How is he?”

Alan didn’t move. “He’s been better.”

“Can I come in?” I asked, hating that I felt as if I needed someone’s permission to see my own brother. Hating that I’d hurt Levi so badly that his boyfriend felt the need to protect him—from me.

Alan swung the door wide. “I was just going to the gym for a workout.” He went over to the couch where Levi was sitting. Alan grabbed his wallet and phone before pressing a kiss to the top of Levi’s head. “I’ll be back in a little bit. Text if you need anything.”

Levi nodded but didn’t lift his head. Didn’t even acknowledge my presence.

Alan squeezed my shoulder on the way out. “Good to see you, Logan.”

“You too.”