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“Wow.” When Levi looked at me again, it was with both contempt and disappointment. “I can’t believe you made a career choice based on a man.”

Part of me knew he was lashing out. But even if I had made my choice based partially or solely on my relationship with Carson, it was my decision. This was my life.

“I made it for myself.” I jabbed my chest with my pointer finger, disappointed that Levi was so blinded by his hurt that he couldn’t see me. “I made it for my future. A future that—and I know you don’t want to hear this—” I held up a hand, asking him to refrain from commenting “—includes Carson.”

Levi shook his head. “I can’t—” He bent forward, resting his hands on his thighs. He let out a choked sob.

“Lee—” My shoulders sagged, my heart breaking. I couldn’t even finish that sentence, my tears were falling so hard. It hurt so much to see him in this much pain and to know I was the cause of it.

After a moment, he straightened and came over to me, taking my hands in his. “Logan.” His eyes were rimmed with red, and I knew mine looked the same. “I love you, and I want you to be happy and find love. But not with him.” He swallowed hard, a tear sliding down his cheek. “Anyone but him.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Istared at my phone as if it would change something, magically fix it. But the same text from two days ago kept staring back at me.

KT: The other night was intense, and I need some time to sift through my thoughts.

Me: Take as much time as you need. I’ll be here.

I let out a sigh and sank back against the couch cushions. Logan wasn’t talking to me. Boone wasn’t talking to me. And Levi—no surprise there—wasn’t talking to me. He still hated me as much as ever, probably more.

I groaned, scrubbing a hand over my face. What am I going to do?

I’d already dragged myself to the Atlas Center for a workout, but that had been its own kind of torture. I’d pushed myself and my limits, but it only reminded me of Logan and all the workouts we’d done together over the past few months. Showering afterward had compounded her absence and the uncertainty of our situation. The magnitude of my fuckup.

And being at home, alone, was probably worst of all. Seeing her things on the nightstand, smelling her scent on the pillow. I’d given up on sleeping in the bed, opting to stay on the couch instead. It didn’t matter—she was everywhere.

I stood and started pacing.

It had been two days since everything had blown up at Cece’s party, and I was going out of my mind. Did Logan hate me? Forgive me? Could she still love me now knowing what I’d done?

I groaned.

I had no idea what she was feeling or thinking, and I was trying to give her the space she’d requested, even if it was killing me.

Maybe this was my punishment for all those years ago. I didn’t want to believe that, but it was hard not to.

There was a knock at the door, and my heart jolted. I rushed over and peered through the peephole, my shoulders sagging when I saw Georgia standing on the other side. Even though I didn’t feel like company, I swung open the door.

“Hey.” She waved, a small smile on her lips. A tentative smile.

“Hey.” I crossed my arms and leaned against the doorframe. “What are you doing here?”

She ducked her head, a guilty expression on her face. “Logan asked me to pick up a few things.”

Panic clawed at my throat, and I tried my hardest to sound casual when I said, “Come in.”

Georgia stepped inside, closing the door behind her.

“Are you looking for anything in particular? Maybe I could help you find it,” I offered, desperate for any information about Logan.

“She asked me to grab her headphones and the book she was reading so she could finish it on the plane.”

I nodded. Right. In the midst of everything else, I’d forgotten that Logan was flying to Minnesota tonight. She’d asked for space, but I didn’t want to leave things unsaid.

Georgia sank down on the arm of the sofa. “Carson. I say this with love, but—” she grimaced “—you look awful.”

I barked out a laugh. “Thank you?”