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And lately, I was drowning. Ever since we’d returned from our brief holiday break, life had been full speed. Practice. Games. Recovery. Podcast. The league initiative. Everything had ramped up all at once. I always felt as if I were behind or forgetting something, but I was determined to grab every opportunity.

“You’re headed to LA for a few days, right?” Coach asked, perhaps changing tack.

I nodded. “Thanks again for signing off on the trip. I know we’re about to hit play-offs, but I really wanted to be there for my best friend’s baby shower.”

“And you should be.” Coach smiled. “In fact, I think this trip could be exactly what you need. A chance to unwind and reset. But also, an opportunity to recenter yourself as we move into this next phase of the season.”

“I’m focused,” I said almost automatically. “And I promise I’ll work even harder before our next game.”

She regarded me for a moment. “This career is exhausting. The travel, the physical and mental aspects, it will wear you down. You have to approach it like a marathon. And lately, I worry that you’re trying to sprint when you need to pace yourself.”

I furrowed my brow. I wasn’t even sure how to respond to that. Nothing about this conversation had gone as expected. If anything, I’d figured Coach would tell me to get my head on straight, stay focused, not…slow down.

“Do you know why I approved your trip to LA?” Coach asked.

“Because you’re nice.”

She laughed, quickly turning more serious. “It’s because I’m worried you’re on a crash course to burnout, and we need you, Logan. The team needs you. While you’re focused on growing the sport, I don’t want you to forget to focus on yourself. I find that the players with the most longevity, the most consistent passion for the game, are the ones who have a strong support system and other interests outside the sport.”

“I have my brother, my family. My teammates,” I said, feeling the need to defend myself. “The podcast.”

“And that’s great, but everyone and everything in your life centers around hockey. The podcast. Your relationships.”

“I never thought of that as a bad thing.” Hockey had been my life ever since I’d learned how to skate. And it would be my life until I could no longer play.

“It’s not,” Coach said. “And I’m not trying to come across as critical. It was merely an observation. I love your passion for the sport, and I see how hard you’re working both on and off the ice. You are a great leader and an amazing advocate for women’s sports.”

“Thank you, Coach.”

“Just…” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “Remember to do something for you every so often, or you’ll come to resent the thing you love most.”

I wondered if she was speaking from personal experience, but I didn’t ask.

“I’m sorry I lost it out there,” I said.

She nodded. “Thank you, but I’m not the one you should be apologizing to.”

I nodded, and she turned her attention to her laptop. I took that as my cue to leave.

“And Logan—” I paused as I reached for the door handle. “Try to have a little fun on your trip. Do something to get out of your head and into your body.”

I nodded, though her suggestion seemed like the opposite of what I should be doing. First, though, I needed to apologize to my teammates.

When I returned to the locker room, my teammates were quiet. Some seemed wary, others concerned.

I sighed, disappointed in myself, embarrassed by my behavior. “I’m sorry. My outburst was childish and unprofessional.”

My teammates gave me their attention, some in various stages of undress. Berg had her mouth set in a grim line. Annika eyed me with concern.

“Sorry, Ritzy. You didn’t deserve that.” She nodded, and I was grateful she’d so easily accepted my apology. “Losing happens. It’s part of the game. And I can handle losing when I feel like we’ve put up a good fight, but we were off our game tonight.”

I dragged a hand through my hair. “We are an amazing team. I don’t want to see us play another game like tonight, not when I know we are capable of so much more.”

There were a few murmurs of agreement, heads nodding.

“And it wasn’t all bad tonight,” I said, not wanting to diminish everyone’s hard work. “Berg had that amazing save in the third period.” Everyone nodded, and I could feel a shift in the energy of the room. “And Annie had some great attempts.” Several other players gave shout-outs to our fellow teammates.

“We only lose if we don’t learn,” I said after everyone who’d wanted to speak had a chance to do so. “So let’s learn from our mistakes and be grateful we still have time left in the season to put those lessons into practice.”