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The thought arrived from nowhere and he pushed it back where it came from. Not tonight. Tonight, nobody was going anywhere.

Except that wasn’t true either, was it? Somewhere in Nate’s blood, the tea was wearing off. Leo didn’t know how much time they had left. He suspected that Nate didn’t know either. This little miracle would simply end when it ended, and Nate would go back to his side, and Leo would stay on this one.

He hated the thought.

He pressed closer.

“Hey.” Nate’s hand stilled. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Leo closed his eyes and let himself be petted, shameless about it. If he could only enjoy this for a limited time, he would make the most of every second.

There were questions Leo should ask. Nate was soft and open and would answer anything right now, and Leo knew it. He would say exactly what Leo wanted to hear.

Wouldn’t he?

There was still a small risk that he wouldn’t.

And then, while Leo was still pondering his questions, the warmth under his cheek went distant by a degree, then another, like a fire burning down.

“Nate.”

“I know.” Nate’s arms tightened instead of letting go. “Not yet.”

“You’re fading.”

“I’ve got a minute.” He said it into Leo’s hair, calm, unbudging, a man refusing to be hurried.

A minute.

Leo held on and stared past Nate’s shoulder at the wall of the sitting room.

He could ask. Right now, at the last moment, with Nate’s arms around him. Do you still mean to send me on? At the end of all this, when I’m whole, is that still the plan? Four seconds of courage. That was all it would take.

He looked at the fading man holding him, and he did not get the words out.

He was a coward.

“Hey,” Nate murmured. His voice had gone thin at the edges, coming from further away. “This was the best date I’ve ever been on.”

“It was adequate,” Leo whispered.

Nate laughed.

And then Leo’s arms were empty.

Below him, the body on the sleeping bag stirred. Nate’s eyes opened, warm and brown and on the wrong side, and found him in the air above.

“Hi,” Nate said. His voice was rough and lived-in and his.

“Hi,” Leo said, from the other side.

Chapter

Thirty-Nine

One thing Leo liked about Nate was the medium’s tendency to get up with the sunrise to tackle the day.

This morning, however, sunrise came and went without Nate.