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I can tell by her eyes, by how vacant they are when I fuck her—not that I’ve had much to give her, either. The darkness is swallowing us whole, and she’s asked a few times about the others. If, maybe, we should go check on them. Yeah, not fucking likely.

Maybe not today, but eventually, she will realize how fucked up I am and leave. Perhaps she’s already come to that conclusion—it would explain her behavior, distance, and constant pandering.

She doesn’t speak to me about it, but I can see the spark of life fading in her eyes the longer she stays here. I’m killing her, or the island’s killing her, but I’m losing her either way. And if I don’t have her, I just don’t see the point in living anymore.

I pack up, knowing we will go hungry tonight. The fish aren’t biting, and I’m not in the right headspace to stay here. I’ve been gone too long, but at least it will be a good test to see what she does when left to her own devices.

I head back through the thicket toward the ice-covered cabin.

As I approach the cabin, I freeze when I notice a set of footprints heading away from it. Smaller, dainty footsteps, unlike mine, leading in a completely different direction.

“Goddammit, London,” I mutter as I pick up my pace, realizing the footsteps only go in one direction.

She fucking left.

“London?” I call out aggressively.

Nothing.

“London,” I call out again, my voice trembling. She better be taking a piss or something and call out to me so I at least know she’s okay.

Icy silence.

My fingers flexing is the only external sign of anger, but inside, I’m bursting. At the first chance she gets, she leaves. And I only have one fucking rule: don’t go outside without me. It’s not that fucking hard.

Although the temperature has improved, it’s far from warm. She won’t last long out there without me. Ice crystals hover in the air. The air is still so cold that I cough whenever I take a deep breath. I follow the footsteps to find her, but they lead to a dead end. Almost like she disappeared mid-air.

She hid her tracks, and she did a fantastic fucking job of it, too. I scan the forest, trying to find even the slightest sign of her. I taught her this trick the last time we were out. It never occurred to me that she would use it to hide from me.

Smart girl.

“Fine. Suit yourself, sweetheart,” I mutter, hoping she’s within earshot and can hear me.

Two hours go by, and the sun’s about to set. I’ve paced the cabin a thousand times and put a dent in the creaky floor. I debate if I’ve made the right decision by not going after her—not wanting to admit to myself that I had no clue where to search for her and that she bested me.

The pressure on my shoulders mounts and my vision blurs when I realize she isn’t coming back.

“Fuck,” I cry out. I’m not sure why I bother standing here, all fucking composed. I grab a can of food and whip it against the wall so hard that it smashes open, and her precious beans splatter all over the place. Immediately, a layer of tension releases from my body. I grab the bedding and start tearing at that, too, throwing all her things around the room.

It’s then that I realize it’s her things I’m chucking. She didn’t take her backpack. Her journal, her clothes, her precious fucking book are all here.

Which means…

She’s probably lost, and with how cold it is outside… And I’ve been sitting here having a tantrum, testing her.

I run my hands through my hair, preparing to go into the forest to find her, ripping my hair out.

Breathe.

If someone was in front of me right now, I’d fuck them up. It wouldn’t matter who the fuck it was.

A meek voice comes from the door. “Micah?”

My head snaps to her, and a fierce, animalistic sensation washes over me. Just the person I’d like to rip up. My despair turns into anger, my face seething, then full-on relief. I’m not even trying to hide it. I flex my jaw and take her in, ice crystals hanging over her hair, hanging off her eyelashes. The fabric of her sweater is frozen. I wipe all the snow off her and grab her freezing, icy hand.

Fucking helpless.

I close the distance between us and grab her shoulders, not sure whether I want to pin her down or hug her. She gasps initially, but then she wraps her arms around me and submits as I lift her up and press her against the wall.