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“Unfortunately, yes, I was,” I mutter. “But I don’t know where he’s staying. It’s in a cave north of here. That’s all I know. Ezra protected me from him. Nigel’s… unhinged.”
She runs her hand through her hair, surely thinking about Nigel. They were best friends for years, and I wonder if she knew what he was the whole time.
Jade signals to James. “Fine, we’ll go back tonight and let London get some rest away from here. We can continue looking for Ollie tomorrow.”
We start to walk into the mist of the night, James keeping close to both of us. He’s very strong—very much the hockey captain he once was. “Let’s go back and drop her off. We can come back out tomorrow.”
As we walk, I steal glances at Jade, hoping to catch a glimpse of the girl I once knew. From what I can tell, she’s gone. She steps ahead, confident and withdrawn. I stay close to James, my muscles aching like my body might cease working at any moment.
“We saw Micah,” Jade finally says, cutting the tense silence other than the sound of our footsteps against the rock. “When he left you, he came to see us. We don’t know what happened to him after that. Ollie went missing a few days later. We’ve been searching for Ollie on and off for two days.”
“How are the others?” I ask, leaning into James to take the pressure off my feet. “Serena? Thomas?”
“Alive,” she says with her back still turned to me.
James stays behind with me, supporting me as I walk slowly. Jade keeps her distance and continues to move forward. I appreciate that she’s not pressuring me for anything at the moment, but I’m mentally preparing myself for the conversation we will need to have. I will have to explain my grief and pain and why Micah and I had to leave the group. Of course, only if she wants to talk about it. I can’t help but feel like I lost her, too.
James grabs my arm to keep me steady and squeezes me. “She’ll come around,” he whispers.
Am I actually welcome back there? Do I even deserve for her to come around?
I’m too tired to care. I can barely keep my eyes open as we walk, just grateful to get away from the dead and the stench behind us and back to a place I once considered home.
My eyes tear up, and I last about five more minutes before I collapse and James has to carry me the rest of the way. I doze in his arms, happy to have someone warm and comforting. I’ve always felt safe with James.
“We’re here,” he whispers, and my eyelids flutter open. A fire is blazing in the meadow, and two people rise when we approach the clearing.
The only two people left here other than us.
James leads me straight to the shelter—Micah’s shelter, the one he constructed for us to live in. Thomas and Serena fix their gaze on me, their silence palpable. As we pass by Thomas, I can’t help but glance at the stump on his wrist, illuminated by the flickering firelight and cleverly concealed beneath his sleeve. Catching me staring, he swiftly withdraws it from my line of sight. I don’t say a word to any of them and crawl into what I used to consider my home. It still smells like Micah. It still feels like he’s here and should be here.
I miss him… so fucking much.
Jade crawls in with me, and James stays outside. “Get some rest,” she says. “When you wake up, we can talk.”
I nod, appreciative of the warm and comfortable bed made of pine boughs and a crap load of soft blankets from the airplane. “This is where James and Serena sleep now,” she informs me. “So we will have to figure something out tomorrow.”
I’m sure Serena is thrilled to have me back. I’m not here to cause trouble, but this will never be Serena’s home. It will always belong to Micah and me; it’s where we first connected.
James pops his head in, his face soft. “I’m heading back out first thing tomorrow. You will be okay, London. The group might be pissed at you right now, but no one is going to let you get hurt. Get some rest and sleep, alright? Thomas and Serena are staying up. They are taking the night shift.”
I should have chosen James. Day one… I had connected with him before the twins completely consumed me. He would have been easier. But that’s not where my heart pulled me.
“Where are you going?” I ask as I lay my head down to get more comfortable, wishing he wouldn’t leave so soon.
“I’m going to get some sleep, and then I’m going to find Ollie. But I’m going alone. Thomas will stay here and watch over you girls.”
I whip my head up. “James,” I whisper, hoping the others can’t hear me, even though they are close. He turns back to look at me, ever so stoic as he always is. I hope Serena treats him well.
“If you see Ezra, don’t hurt him. I think…”
“What is it, London?”
“I think Ezra has paid enough for what he did… There are pieces of himself still inside him. He opened up to me a bit. He protected me from Nigel in the best way he could. He’s hurting and in a lot of pain, and I think he’s terrified. Please don’t kill him… He needs forgiveness.”
He nods, his baby blue eyes still full of light. “What do you want me to do if I see him?”
I pause for only a moment. “I want you to bring him back here.”