Page 104
The bathroom has a clawed bathtub and a tiny circle mirror with a small vanity. I turn on the hot water and let the tub fill before I strip off all my clothes.
As the tub fills, I steal a glance at myself in the mirror and recoil. My reflection is contorted in a grimace. Maybe I’m doing it, maybe not. My face is still, yet it appears frozen in a silent scream. I touch my lips to be certain, and I’m not screaming. I shut my eyes, shake my head, and decide to avoid the mirror.
Once the tub is full, I slip into the hot water and nearly moan at how nice it is. My head hits the porcelain tub, and I take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves.
I nearly fall asleep. I’m so comfortable and relaxed and feel oddly…safe.
Despite everything I’ve been through, I still feel safe with him—last night was proof of that, which also made me more confused than ever.
My eyes grow heavy, and my body submerges, as if pulled down by some ancient power.
It doesn’t scare me like it should.
The thought of death used to scare me something frightful, but I’ve become so accustomed to it. I understand the appeal of bringing someone near death but not killing them. I’ve experienced that moment of chaos, where worlds collide. The in-between place where shadows turn to stone. As light and darkness merge, your soul seems to leave your body. I wonder for a moment what that would be like.
I wake with a start and scramble out of the water, remembering that everyone’s waiting for me upstairs. Tommy’s there, ready to hand me over to Talia.
I sigh and avoid the mirror, running my fingers through my hair and fluffing it. By the time I’m done and dressed, it’s been at least an hour, though I care very little about making everyone wait for me. It’s the least they can do. Then I saunter upstairs, determined to find answers.
DIDI
Ihear him playing guitar before I see him. I pause just outside the front door, having slipped through the beaded curtain and climbed the eerie stairs leading into the house. It takes my eyes a long moment to adjust to the blazing early afternoon sunlight, the giant trees are a stark contrast to the bright blue sky.
This property is hauntingly beautiful, with the large trees, small gazebo in the back, and well-manicured bushes. But nothing is as beautiful as the music filling my ears. I know it’s him; I recognize the song he used to hum.
Oddly, I feel rested, despite my haunted consciousness and the inner demons spewing from the depths of my dark psyche.
I wrap my hands around myself and step toward the group huddled by the fire so I can hear Tommy sing better. He plays so effortlessly. The music is deep and poetic, and if Talia brings this out, then I can see why he seems happier now than he did before.
As I watch Talia, who is curled up beside Tommy while he strums the guitar, my heart skips a beat. She’s undeniably pretty. Her long dark hair is pulled to the side. She exudes an air of confidence and a captivating darkness I’ll never have. He’s smiling when he strums, almost as though he’s playing for her.
Bax is next to them, his feet stretched out in front of him, glancing at the sky behind his round glasses. From this vantage point, I’d never suspect they were part of something so terrible.
It’s Remy who notices me first, sitting slightly away from the others as a small plume of smoke shadows him from the dry timber. He tilts his head when our eyes meet as he leans back on his palms, wearing his usual leather and dark clothes. My eyes draw to him immediately, and heat runs through my veins as we stare at each other.
The memory of last night floods back. I remember desperately wanting his attention right before I ended up with Tommy. I give him a shy wave just as Lucy sits next to him.
Jealousy seems pointless at this moment, since he can’t keep his eyes off me. Lucy seems irrelevant.
Tommy hasn’t noticed me yet. He quits playing, placing the guitar down, and Talia moves to sit cross-legged between his legs.
He lights up a joint, sucks on it, then places it in her mouth, and I watch the two of them effortlessly interact.
She finally notices me and doesn’t look angry at all.
“Hi there,” Talia says, waving me over. “Come sit with us.”
All eyes are on me as I walk into the circle.
I sit next to Bax, since he’s the only one not coupled up, far away from Tommy, who can’t make eye contact with me right now.
I can’t gauge his emotion underneath his aviator sunglasses, but considering he confessed his love just an hour earlier, I’m sure he’s experiencing something.
Bax is still staring at the sky and barely seems to register that I’m beside him. He glances in my direction, and I rest my hand on his arm.
He looks down at my hand, then up at me, and I see my reflection in his perfectly round glasses. “Oh, hey there, pretty snow lady,” he says in a slow, lazed voice before tilting his head back up to the sky.
Talia chuckles. “Don’t mind Bax; he re-dosed an hour ago. He’ll be like that for hours.” Talia gives me a serpentine smile and leans into Tommy. “How was your night last night, Didi? I’m happy you stayed. I was worried about you after Tommy took you away.”