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Dinner finishes up and my brothers head out as we get ready to head to the store.

“How you holdin’ up?” Stone asks as I follow them out to where our motorcycles are parked in Bulldog’s driveway next door.

I run my hands through the hair on the top of my head.

“Fine, I guess,” I admit, blowing out a sigh. “Kid hates me.”

“No, he doesn’t.” Stone stops, halting my steps. “He doesn’t know you yet. Hearing about a person all your life paints a picture in your mind of what they are and should be. Meeting them in person puts a real face to those images. He’s a teen who has had to be the man of the house up until now. He needs time to adjust to you just like you do to them.”

“Fuck, I’m gonna screw this up,” I say closing my eyes.

“There’s no manual to go by here. Ask him questions, get to know him and his likes and dislikes. Remi seems like a cool girl so I’m sure she’s wanting the same thing,” he offers. “You and Remi need to figure out the next move here. We leave for the rally in two days before heading back to Texas. Is she willing to move four states away?”

I hadn’t even thought about any of this. Fuck! Now that I’ve found them and know about Remi and my son, I’m not sure I want to be that far away from them. Is she willing to give up her life here and move to Texas? Would that be an option for her?

I bring my hand up to my temple and start to rub, hoping to ward off a headache. Today has been an overload of information and finding out things I never knew was happening. It’s going to take days, if not weeks, to process everything.

“I don’t know, Prez,” I honestly say.

“Just mention it lightly and get a feel if she’s willing. Don’t go demanding or some shit like that. Women hate being told what to do,” he says with a look that tells me he knows firsthand. “I’m not willing to lose you to the Montana Chapter and right now I know that this is the last place you’d want to patch over to, so try not to say anything that’ll bite you in the ass.”

I look back and see Bulldog talking with Remi through the front window.

“He’s gonna be a problem,” I nod over to Bulldog.

“You let me handle Bulldog,” he says as he mounts his bike. “Stay alert and try to have a good time with your family.”

Family.

How is it that in a matter of minutes you can go from having zero family members in your life to a son and your past girlfriend? The weight of that reality settles on my shoulders. Before I only looked out for my brothers in the MC but now, I’ve got way more to lose.

As we walk into the grocery store Remi pushes a basket towards Ryder and me.

“You guys go and pick out the meat you want for the cookout. I’m gonna go pick up a few things on my list,” she says. Her eyes are telling me go and spend some time with your son.

Ryder looks up to me before nodding. The entire ride over here had been a quiet affair. He only talks when asked a question but you can tell he wants to say so much more. He’s so much like me it’s uncanny. He even has some of the same mannerisms.

“What do they usually have at these places?” I ask to break the ice, hoping I’ll get more than a one-word response.

“We have hamburgers, hot dogs, steaks,” he says as I let him push the cart towards the cold section of the store. “What do you like?”

“I’ll take a good cheeseburger any day,” I tell him. “What about you?”

I watch the corner of his lip curl up. “Me too.”

A sense of pride washes over me. I feel like I just answered the final question in a contest and won a jackpot of money. “Cool,” I say instead, trying to keep myself calm and not pump my fist up in the air at the victory.

We approach the meat market section and I stop by the counter, viewing the options through the glass window.

“Oh, we just buy burgers in the package or the frozen ones.” Ryder points to the wall where all the pre-packaged meat is. “Mom says that this is too expensive and they never offer coupons.”

I feel like I’ve been smacked in the face by a wooden board. The last two years I’ve been making money hand over fist while my kid and Remi have been counting pennies to make ends meet. I’m sure Remi and I haven’t even scratched the surface with how much she struggled living on the streets and in shelters with a baby. Seeing how much diapers and shit are with Raegan and Sutton, I can only imagine what it cost her. Is that why she became a stripper? Because the money is better? Well, fuck that. From this point on they’ll never have to worry about a dime.

I wave the butcher over. “We’ll take six of your best beef patties,” I tell the man dressed in a white hat and apron. “And a couple of your boneless steaks.”

“Yes, sir,” he responds.

I watch Ryder’s eyes shift to the price tag where the butcher is grabbing the meat up and see him start calculating what the cost is going to be. He starts rubbing the back of his neck just as Remi comes over with some items and a stack of coupons.