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The walk helps me breathe easier, and I remind myself that no matter what, everything is going to be okay.
There’s no way they’re taking the boys, something insane would have to happen for that to be possible, and there’s just no way.
But I don’t want tonight to be the night when I finally use my words with Tucker.
I don’t think it’d be right to do it considering the emotional roller coaster of Norma’s visit.
Tomorrow will be good enough for that.
Or so I think.
I’m lying on my bed, reading a mystery Hannah recommended . . . but I left my door open. That’s enough for Tucker, who stands just outside, maintaining a boundary he believes is there.
He’s patient.
He’s wonderful.
Mark the page, close the book, sit up—I do it methodically.
“Come in,” I invite him.
He does so silently. I want him more than I did this morning, some-fucking-how. Not the time, I remind myself.
I fear Tucker might have a different idea when he closes the door behind himself and walks silently to the other side of the bed. He climbs up and lies down, flat on his back. I do the same, and as if we coordinated it, we turn on our sides to face each other.
“Hi,” I whisper. I don’t say anything else because he doesn’t have to say anything else. I get it now, the first time we shared orgasms it was hazier, not as intentional, but the couch . . .
And now.
He wants to be close to me.
And fuck me, I want that too.
June 24th
Tucker wakes up before me, which means I don’t get to enjoy having him sleeping next to me before he’s up.
The feather-light kiss he places on the tip of my nose is enough, though. For now.
After the boys spend a good ten minutes asking us why that lady wanted to know so much about them, breakfast is quiet.
Quiet enough that when my phone buzzes with an email marked as urgent, everybody at the table hears it even while it’s in my pocket.
I take it out, muttering a flushed apology, and the air gets stuck in my windpipe.
Luxton School.
Interview.
Next Wednesday at nine a.m.
Reality comes crashing back down on me. I’m only here temporarily.
17
SUNNY
Tucker wants to talk about it, and he makes it very clear he’s not going to be his usual patient self when it comes to this.
