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She says the word marker slowly, with her eyes on mine. I give her nothing.
Her eyes narrow. She lets it go for now, and I can see she means to come back to it.
Whitlock bought that marker from me. Ozzie wrote the line in the green ledger, and I initialed it with a fork in my other hand. That ledger is locked in my gun safe behind the rifles.
Last night I told her 'Not tonight,' and I told myself it was to protect her. It wasn't. If I put that ledger in her hands, she drives away from me for good.
Keeping my mouth shut is the most cowardly thing I've done in my life, and I do it anyway.
"I told him one more thing," she says. "I told him Coleman kept me in a cell under his winery. He might run straight to Coleman with it."
That changes tonight's watch. If her daddy picks up the phone again, Whitlock hears by noon what she told him. Whatever's in that cellar could be on a trailer by dark.
I call Jesse right there in the lot. "Whitlock may know she's talking. Both gates tonight. You take the front. Beckett sleeps today and takes the back. If a trailer comes out either gate, you don't stop it. Whoever's on that gate follows it way back, with his headlights on like any other rancher heading home. The other one cuts over to the highway and picks it up there, so they never see the same lights behind them twice. Get the plates on the truck and the trailer and call me."
I hang up and look at her. "If there are women in that trailer, I'm calling Raven, and nobody's asking Harlan's old deputies for anything. Get in the truck," I tell her. "You're driving." When she only stares at me, I add, "You've had it all night. How much of my diesel did you burn?"
"Less than you'd think. I sat by a creek most of it, waiting for the sun."
"Then you sat somewhere I didn't look."
She climbs in behind the wheel with the tire iron across her lap. I get in on the passenger side.
Beckett pulls out ahead of us and leads us out of town. I watch the mirror on my side for a white pickup the whole way.
She drives with both hands locked on the wheel and doesn't say a word until we've crossed the creek.
"Tell me what you are," she says. "All of it. You and I both know there's more about my father, and I'll get it out of you. Right now I'm asking about you."
I owe her that much. This is the part I can tell her without losing her.
"After Jesse killed Bo, I rode bulls," I say. "I'd been riding at little county shows since I was a kid. Once Bo was in the ground, I went at it full time on the PRCA circuit, the big professional rodeos. I was good. Top of the standings a couple of seasons. I rode at the NFR in Vegas, the National Finals, where only the best riders in the world get a shot."
Her eyes cut to me and back to the road.
"There was a rider named Del Carnegie. We'd hated each other for years. One night in a parking lot outside San Angelo, he swung first. I put him on the ground, and then I kept hitting him. It took a few stock handlers to pull me off, and he was in the hospital for days. The PRCA banned me indefinitely. I was thirty."
"That's why you built the ring."
"A few months later. I told myself a ring has a bell and a referee, so the next time I started on a man, something would stop me." I let her hear the rest. "It also meant I never had to quit fighting. The rules don't make it clean. They just give it a shape."
I look out at the cedar going by. "That same year, a man I'd fought in my ring told me about a house in San Antonio. Everything there runs on paper, and anybody who breaks a line gets thrown out."
"And you went."
"A couple nights a month for years. Besides my ring, it's the only place I ever put my hands on anybody by the rules. You asked who taught me. Nobody taught me. I learned it there, one woman and one sheet of paper at a time."
She drives for a while.
"There's something else," I say. "You were nineteen, sitting on that hay bale by my back door. I wanted you too. Every Saturday you sat there, I wanted to turn around and tell you where to put your hands. I kept my back turned because you were the preacher's girl and I was what I am."
Her hands tighten on the wheel. "You could've turned around once."
She doesn't say anything else until we reach my gate. Hector swings it open, takes one look at her behind the wheel, and touches his hat brim to her like nothing happened last night.
She parks beside the guest house and climbs out with the tire iron in her fist. She doesn't hand it back, and I don't ask for it.
She carries it into the guest house, and I hear the bolt slide home behind her. Her curtains stay shut all morning, and I don't go near her porch.