Page 50

“Fine. Call him from your car,” he said, shoving my foot out the door and slamming his front door shut.

“Please, Sasha, I’m so sorry.”

No answer. I realized then, because I could see a bit through the stained-glass panels on his front door, that he wasn’t there. If they were large panes, I would have been able to see him, but it was more like a mosaic, all the itty-bitty pieces which made it impossible. I shoved my face against the doorjamb, trying to smell him, but he was too far away.

“I need to talk to you,” I said, knocking lightly on the door.

Nothing.

The man was my mate, and being near him, feeling the bond I always felt, that lived under my skin, searing through my veins, my blood, driving me to claim my other half, almost sent me through the closed door. Easy enough to break it down, but ignoring his boundaries when I’d already hurt him so badly was the epitome of stupidity. Normally, I didn’t walk and talk and think all at the same time, but just this much contact with Sasha helped clear my head. I needed to be smart.

“I was really stupid,” I said to the door. “I thought I was doing the right thing, but it turns out I’m not that bright.”

No response.

“You would think you’d at least agree that I’m an idiot.”

I heard him stomp back to the front door, which was something.

“I would love to make this all up to you.”

Surprisingly, he opened the door, and I was excited until he only opened it as far as the chain would allow.

“I would have to be out of my mind,” he said icily.

Even though the words were bad, it was progress that the door was open even a sliver.

“Do you think I could come in?”

“No.” He slammed the door shut again.

I had never wanted another person to say yes to me so badly in my life. And this was exactly what I’d been afraid of. That if I reached for him, the pull would be inexorable, and putting him, my mate, out of my mind would be impossible. Even in so short a time, seeing him earlier in the night and now… I wanted to bite him.

There had been another alpha in his home, and some suitor who clearly wanted him, and where was my claim? It should have been rendered on his flesh, the scar that proclaimed who he belonged to. But because I’d thought I was doing the right thing, I’d let him walk around without my mark. I had to brace myself on the wall as the regret and pain swamped me.

“You should go home,” my mate suggested from the other side of the door. “Wade is on his way with Avery and Graeme to speak to me, and there are uniformed police officers coming now who are going to sit in front of my house.”

I tried to say something, but my voice was gone.

“So you see, I’m perfectly safe. I’m sure Graeme will fill you in on everything when he returns to the house.”

He was talking to me like I could ever, would ever, be parted from him again after this moment. That was impossible.

“Please open the door,” I rasped, feeling his unease even with a barrier between us. It was rolling off of him.

“Let me call Wade again,” he said, and then he was gone a second time, leaving me alone on his immaculately kept porch. Everything was just so, nothing out of place. This was what omegas did, made everything homey and perfect. I wanted mine.

He bumped the door when he returned, and for a moment, I felt my pulse quicken with the thought that he was going to open it, but no.

“Wade said he would call and inform you directly of the latest developments,” he clarified for me. “You don’t have to wait here.”

“But I want to wait here.”

“Whatever for?” He actually sounded confused, like I was making no sense, and again I was reminded of how completely I’d messed up.

“You saved my life.”

“Yes? And?”