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He nods, his eyes moving over my face, looking for any micro expression. Still, if there was anything I learned being married to Dan, it was how to conceal how I really felt about any given situation. That man loved to know his barbs had landed, so I took that away from him. Now I do it more out of habit than anything else, but I’m glad for it. Until I’ve had time to sit down and think about what this means for us, I don’t want to react in a way I can’t take back.

“Um…okay. Can you let me up? I need to use the bathroom.” He continues to stare at me for a minute before rolling away just enough for me to sit up. The room spins for a moment, but I push through it and get to my feet, hurrying to the bathroom. I close the door and lock it, needing the barrier between us. When I’m next to him, all my thoughts go haywire. He’s always so focused on me that it’s unnerving. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, it’s just not something I’m used to. Lick is over a decade younger than me and yet might be more man than the husband I spent half my life with.

I splash cold water on my face and try to corral my thoughts into some kind of order that will be easier for me to work through. First things first. I’m definitely pregnant. I mean, I knew I was obviously, but the scan photo made everything real. Second. Lick wants to be a part of our child’s life. As scary as that might be right now, trying to think of a future of co-parenting with a stranger, I know it’s the responsible thing to do.

My life and his life are not the same. I’m boring and safe, he’s charisma and chaos. I can’t keep judging him by the same yardstick I use on myself. He’s done nothing to earn this level of wariness from me. It’s a fucked-up fact that I’m carrying a shit-ton of baggage as we try to navigate what our future might look like. He seems like a good guy, but can I really expect him to pander to me and my trauma?

I shake my head, pee before my bladder explodes, and wash my hands. Worrying myself stupid over shit I can’t change right now is like decaf coffee—pointless. I take a deep breath and tackle what seems most important. What happens now? He wants me to meet his club. Why? I mean, there is a comfort in him not wanting to keep his child or me as a dirty little secret, but I can’t help but feel like a little fish about to swim into shark-infested waters. If I’m going to get through what’s to come, I need to learn to start biting back, or I’ll never survive.

I pull open the door and find Lick standing there waiting for me. “Alright, tell me more about your club.”

16

Lick

I’d given her as much information as I could without crossing any lines, but I wasn’t dumb. I knew I was skating on thin ice. I hadn’t told her we were a one-percent motorcycle club. I figured that shit was irrelevant this early on. The way I look at it, if I can make her love the club—make her love me—then she’ll forgive the shit I can’t change. Hopefully the risk is worth the reward. Until then, I felt like I had to hold back and hope I could prove I was worth taking a chance on.

I reach over and give her hand a squeeze as the gates open. I wait for the prospect to signal it’s clear before pulling in and parking at the far end of the lot.

“I take it you ride a bike too?”

I turn the engine off and look at her. “I do. I’ll take you out on it once the baby arrives.”

I half expect her to tell me no, but she offers me a small smile instead. “Okay, sounds fun.”

“Have you ever been on a bike before?”

“I got pregnant at fifteen. You might say I was a little bit of a wild child. I was riding on the back of dirt bikes before I was even aware of the risks, then riding them myself because I thought I was invincible.”

“Dirt bikes have nothing on Harleys, but the thought of you riding anything makes me hard.”

She rolls her eyes, but a blush covers her cheeks. The woman is such a contradiction. I have a feeling it will take me years to peel back all of her layers to find out what’s really underneath.

I skim my thumb across the apple of her cheek and lean down. My lips hover over hers for a moment. “Makes me think of that night. You rode my cock so good I could feel you for days.” I kiss her forehead and jump out, leaving her spluttering.

I grin as I walk around and open the car door and help her out. “Come on. Let me show you off to everyone.”

“Everyone? How many people are here?”

“No idea. It’s a weekday, so won’t be as busy as it usually is on the weekend. Some people will still be working. Plus, unless my dad has said anything, not everyone will know you’re coming. I should warn you about the club girls, though.”

“Club girls? Oh, never mind, I’ve read about them. Their sole purpose is to serve the guys, right?” She grimaces in distaste.

“In a nutshell, yeah, but I’ve never been one to use club girls. I don’t like to share,” I tell her before wrapping my hand around hers so she can’t run away, should she get the urge.

I walk her towards the main doors and pull them open. The sound of music and laughter hits us as we step into what used to be the brewery’s reception area. Emma’s grip tightens on mine. I look down at her and see that her face has paled a little.

“Shit, do you need your pills?”

She blows out a shaky breath but jerks her head from side to side. “No. I mean, I might still throw up, but it won’t have anything to do with my condition and everything to do with being here. I’ve never been great with crowds or strangers.”

“Wait, don’t you work in a pub?”

She looks at me and grins. “I’m learning to face my fears. It’s a work in progress.”

I let go of her hand so that I can wrap my arm around her shoulders and pull her in for a hug. I press my lips to her temple. “Nothing’s going to happen to you here. I just want you to meet my family, meet our baby’s family. If you never believe anything else about me, then believe this, I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“I believe you,” she tells me, looking up at me as the doors in front of us open, revealing Scat and Mavis.