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I already know she lost her parents young, but she never told me how, or what role she had to fill. A twinge of empathy hits me unexpectedly.

I remind myself she doesn’t hold the same compassion for me. She doesn’t ask about my home or if I miss my estranged family. “It’s been anything but easy.”

She slides the frayed end of a silk ribbon across the page it’s marking. “Are you unhappy with our arrangement?”

There’s no good answer to that.

I can lie, or I can be honest and stab her in the chest. The longer I look at her, the less sure I am that I want to do that.

But it’s not about what I want. I was chosen by Fennelith. Perhaps I was always meant to be here to get revenge for the crimes of Darcy’s ancestors.

My fingers flex near my thigh. I have to make a decision and make it quick.

“If you’re not happy, you will be. Imagine it—two Duchesses, two women—destroying the biggest threats the Mer-King could use against us,” Darcy says, rocking to her feet. “Our house will be the most powerful one the Heartbreak Isles has ever seen. We can work on making things better without worrying what the older nobles think.”

I hesitate.

None of the Order of the Undine’s teachings involve revenge. Only making the sea a better place for all of us, using our gifts from the Moon Goddess.

Sometimes that requires violence, but as a tool for protection, not a punishment.

There might be a way forward if Darcy has better influences.

She loops a finger through my robe’s sash, and my pulse quickens as she pulls me closer. “A long time ago, I made a vow to protect my heart. I swore I would never touch someone I could fall in love with.” Her finger slides across the silky ribbon. “That’s why I avoid you. I fear you’re going to be a problem.”

“How could falling in love with your wife be a problem?” I breathe.

“I can’t explain,” she says, her voice thick. “You wouldn’t understand.”

Yes, I could help her make things better, I think, as she loosens the part of my robe to run a hand up the side of my waist while lowering her lips to mine. It’s not a sweet, slow-building kiss like she usually gives me.

That was my sailor, and this is Darcy.

Her hand curves along the bottom of my breast, and a dozen questions jumble in my head as she nips my lower lip.

All of the heated anticipation drains from the kiss.

Why does my body still respond to someone who lied to me and wanted to hurt me? I freeze, not sure how to stop what we’re doing. She walks her fingers along my nightgown to slowly lift my hem.

I’ve snuck a few books from these shelves to learn more about my new anatomy, and I’ve discovered the concept of climaxing.

Maybe if we keep going, it will happen naturally. The feeling might come back again, like it did the other night when Zephyr visited.

I shouldn’t be thinking about them right now. I should never be thinking about them like that.

But my mind is filled with images of their abdomen coated in a sheen of sweat, and the way the long curve of their neck looks when they tilt their head back.

Darcy inches my gown over my knees, touching my bare skin, and my thighs clamp together at the thought of her getting any closer to the space between them.

I push my hands against her chest. “Wait, I⁠—”

She pulls back and drops my skirt instantly, bewildered. “Sorry, I thought you wanted to…”

The library door slams open, hitting the wall like a thunderclap as Zephyr walks in. Their eyes flit between Darcy and me, dropping to my open robe.

“I just remembered something I read about brinicles that might help us to track the ice dragon,” they say. “I can come back if it’s not a good time, though.”

“That’s alright, Professor.” Darcy wipes her mouth on her sleeve. “I’d love to talk about brinicles. Dee was just leaving.”