Page 58

The familiar feminine smell of Ellie, as her thigh pressed against his, set Kane’s body aching with need. His libido was not paying any attention to his resolve of not getting involved and he tried to withdraw into himself a little.

‘Have you talked to your mum today?’ Ellie’s brow wrinkled in a frown as she looked at him. ‘I was worried about her after I saw her yesterday.’

‘She’s okay.’ He knew his voice was terse but, hell, it was bloody hard not to put his arm around her and pull her close.

‘I don’t want you to think I went down there to pry, but she talked about you.’

Kane ran his hand through his hair. He knew exactly what his mother would have said. ‘I suppose you got the war hero story. Don’t believe a word of it. That’s the sanitised version of a monumental fuck-up.’

‘She said you were healing.’ Her voice was quiet.

Kane stared hard at her for a moment and she held his gaze without blinking.

‘Look, it’s not my business. Where you came from or where you’ll go to next has nothing to do with me.’ Her chest rose and fell as she took a deep breath, and Kane realised she was affected by his proximity as much as he was by hers. ‘But she asked me to be your friend –’ she gestured around the room ‘– so I guess this is what friends do.’ Ellie hesitated and then put her hand on his arm. ‘Your mum didn’t look well.’

‘No, she’s not.’ Usually Kane would have left it at that, but as Ellie’s concerned eyes held his, he suddenly felt the need to share. Before he could voice his deep concern about his mum’s health, Ellie continued speaking.

‘Your mum looked out for mine when Dad died. If there’s any way I can help out, please let me. I’d like to.’

‘Thank you. I’m going to try and get her back to Darwin tomorrow. To look at apartments. Fancy a drive?’

‘What time?’ Kane noticed Ellie’s hesitation.

‘After lunch. We’re both on the same shift, which will make it easy. You’ve got three flights to take up in the morning.’

‘Yes, longer flights . . . and yes I would love to come. I’d like to help out if I could.’ She stared up at him and he couldn’t look away from her blue eyes. ‘I’m having lunch with someone, but I’ll make it an early one unless you want to get away before noon?’

‘No, as long as we get away by one that’s fine. I’ve lined up a couple of places to look at around four o’clock. If Mum’s up to it, we can have an early dinner and drive back. Maybe I can tempt you with a potato pizza?’

Ellie smiled at him and nodded.

Heather came back and stood behind Ellie. She looked as surprised as he was; they’d been in their own little world there for a moment.

‘Hey, Kane. Excuse us for a minute? I just need to talk to Ellie again.’

Their voices were low and Kane turned back to survey the crowd. Most of those couples with children had left and the bar was emptying out. He thought about going back to his room. A couple of nights out was more socialising than he’d done since before the crash in Afghanistan.

Closing his eyes, Kane blocked out the sound of the room around him and thought back to that last night in the desert. He waited for the usual surge of adrenaline to settle in his chest, but he must have been more relaxed than he thought. There was a pang of sadness, but none of the physical symptoms that usually took over when he thought about what had happened. He let himself test the memory – slowly – like opening a photograph album and flicking through the pages. Taking slow, easy breaths, he let his muscles relax. His pulse stayed steady and his heart beat slowly in his chest. Dirk and Jerry had been playing cards, and Hawk had been strumming on her guitar. The conversation was animated, with the usual swearing when someone got a bad hand.

If they’d known it was their last night of their lives, what would his crew have talked about? Would they have questioned what they were doing in this godforsaken desert fighting a war that could never be won? Kane waited for the guilt to come slamming in, but it stayed away. The usual pain blocking his throat didn’t come. It was sweet relief; the violence of his reactions when he was feeling that pain frightened him.

He opened his eyes slowly and looked around. There was no point wishing he could go back; he couldn’t change what had happened. In a way he was pleased Ellie knew some of his background – maybe he was beginning to let go a little bit. Kane straightened his posture and stretched his legs out in front of him as he looked at her. A comfortable, almost mellow feeling had settled in his bones.

She and Heather were still deep in conversation as they walked back to the table and a lull in the crowd noise let their words carry across to him.

‘Do you want me to come with you?’ Ellie was looking up at her friend with a frown. ‘Just be a bit careful out there.’

‘Let me go and see if his car is in the car park. Maybe he changed his mind and went home. The old bugger refuses to turn his mobile on so I can’t text him.’ Heather headed towards the door.

‘Everything okay?’

Ellie glanced at Kane. ‘We can’t find Bill. Heather’s car’s still out of action and she needs a lift home. I’m going out to help her look for him.’

He jumped to his feet. ‘Not by yourselves. I’ll come with you. I said I’d fix her car but the cable hasn’t arrived yet.’

‘She’s just gone to check the car park.’ Ellie bit her bottom lip.

‘How will she get home if he’s gone?’