Page 17

‘Dare I ask where in the world you are today?’ This is my oldest friend Trudi’s standard greeting. Although we don’t speak that often since she moved to Essex to live with her boyfriend, James, she’s one of those people that make it feel like we’re naturally picking up an existing conversation every time we do.

‘Cape Town,’ I tell her as I slide open the door to the balcony.

‘Of course,’ she says with a laugh. ‘Where else would you be? More importantly, where are you going to be at the end of March?’

‘I don’t know. Why?’

‘Because I’m getting married then and I’m in need of a chief bridesmaid. That’s you, in case you haven’t guessed.’

‘Oh, Trudi, that’s amazing. I’m so happy for you. When did this happen?’

‘I have been dropping a few heavy hints lately,’ she admits. ‘I mean, we’ve got the house and the dog and the next logical step would be a baby, but I’ve made it clear we’re not starting a family until he’s put a ring on it.’

‘I never knew you were so traditional.’

‘It’s more to do with practicality. Saves having to decide which surname to use for the baby.’

‘You’d take his name then?’

‘Well, the feminist in me rails against it, naturally. Slay the patriarchy and all that, but you’ve got to admit that Trudi Bowes-Cavendish sounds rather better than plain old Trudi Richards.’

‘I’m sure James feels very reassured, knowing that you’re just marrying him for his surname,’ I tell her with a laugh. ‘March though, that’s incredibly close. Don’t these things normally take much longer to arrange?’

‘We were originally looking at next year, yes, but the venue had a cancellation, and I just thought, “Why not?” Less time for James to get cold feet and, although it’s tight, I reckon it should be doable if I’m super-organised. So, what do you say? Are you in?’

‘Of course I’m in,’ I tell her. ‘Wherever in the world I am, I’ll make sure I come back for it.’

‘Good. It would mean everything to me to have you there. In fact, I don’t think I could do it without you. Anyway, tell me about you. What’s in Cape Town?’

By the time we end the call, nearly an hour later, I’m feeling much better. It might be something to do with the second glass of wine I decided to allow myself while I caught up with Trudi, but it’s mainly just hearing the excitement in her voice as she told me all about James’s proposal and her progress on the wedding plans so far. Although she freely admits that she doesn’t understand the first thing about my life, she’s always been a great listener so I’ve also been able to offload some of the frustration of the day on her. I’m smiling at the memory of her parting words as I start pulling ingredients out of the fridge to make my dinner.

‘You know what’s going on in that room?’ she’d asked. ‘SDE.’

‘SDE?’

‘I know how you consultant-y types love an acronym so I made one up for you. It stands for Small Dick Energy. Your challenge is to work out whose is the smallest. Shouldn’t be hard. The more noise and aggro they create, the smaller the dick.’

‘Based on that, I’d say Jeremiah and Leon are fairly evenly matched.’

‘Well, it’ll give you something to think about while they metaphorically wave them at each other,’ she’d declared.

It’s only as I’m writing my notes up after dinner that the thought comes to me and I’m surprised at the pang of sadness I feel. Another of my friends trotting happily into married life and leaving me behind. Am I just meeting the wrong sort of men?

9

Despite the wine last night, I’m awake early and alert. I’ve got a plan of sorts to try to outwit the gruesome twosome, as I’ve nicknamed Jeremiah and Leon in my head. I definitely felt ambushed yesterday, so today, I’m going to go in early and lie in wait. I can’t believe all those people arrive simultaneously so, if I get in there first, I should be able to pick them off one by one as they come in and get to know a bit about them. I might even be able to glean some useful information about the office dynamics that I can use to my advantage.

Unsurprisingly, the gym is empty when I get in there just before six. The only downside of my master plan is that I would have liked to see a friendly face before I go into battle once more, and Nathan’s would have fitted the bill perfectly, but even the prospect of admiring his calf muscles as he lopes along effortlessly beside me is not enough to make another day like yesterday bearable. I’ll do twenty minutes on the treadmill to get my circulation going, then have a quick shower and power breakfast of yoghurt, fruit and granola before heading off with the aim of getting to the office just after half-past seven. While I was eating my dinner last night, I found myself thinking about Sigourney Weaver and the fight scene in Alien. As soon as I’d cleared up, I’d rented the movie and watched that scene about three times as part of my preparation for today, so I’m definitely channelling my inner Sigourney. Jeremiah and Leon had better watch out, that’s all I can say.

As I make my way out of the city towards the suburb where the office is located, I realise my new plan comes with another unexpected benefit. Not only is the traffic relatively subdued at this time in the morning, consisting mainly of the horrifically overcrowded and dangerous-looking minibuses that ferry the locals to and from work, but the street vendors and beggars are generally nowhere to be seen either. I’m smiling as ‘We Built This City’ by Starship comes on the radio, singing along lustily but changing the words where I can to make them relevant to my situation. It all helps my mood as I leave the car in the car park and make my way through the security barriers using the access card that Jeremiah very begrudgingly organised for me yesterday afternoon. I’m still humming the song happily as I push open the meeting room door, and it takes me a moment to notice that, despite it still being ridiculously early, I’m not alone. A woman that I’m guessing is in her mid-forties is sitting at the end of the table, looking at me quizzically.

‘I’m so sorry,’ I say to her. ‘I didn’t realise there was anyone in here.’

‘Evidently,’ she replies with a smile. ‘You must be Athena. I’ve heard a lot about you, but nobody mentioned your musical abilities. I’ll add them to my list.’

This is unbelievable. It’s not even half-past seven in the morning and already, this bloody place has depth-charged my carefully constructed plan by making me look like an idiot in front of whoever this new person is. Instead of Sigourney Weaver beating the crap out of the alien, I’m now feeling more like a slapstick comedy character about to take yet another tumble to canned laughter.

‘I’m Sarah, by the way,’ the woman continues, either unaware or unbothered by my discomfort. ‘And I gather you might have had a bit of a difficult day yesterday. Why don’t I get us both a coffee while you unpack, and then we can have a chat before the others get here, hm? What do you like?’