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‘You can rely on me for that,’ he agrees. ‘You’re not going to spend the whole weekend working though, are you? You ought to see a bit of Cape Town at least. After all, if you don’t deliver the goods next week, this will probably be your only trip here and it would be a shame to waste it.’

‘And what Jeremiah giveth with one hand, he taketh away with the other,’ I retort before I can stop myself.

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘Hey, Athena, I really want you to enjoy Cape Town because, if I have my way, this will be the only time you come here. Have you considered a career in hospitality or tourism? With messaging like that, you’d be a surefire hit.’ Even as I’m saying the words, I know I’ve strayed way beyond the boundaries of professionalism, but I’ve had four days of him and my patience has run out.

‘I just tell it like it is. I’m not going to blow smoke up your arse until I’ve seen some evidence that arse knows what it’s talking about.’

‘Are you suggesting I talk out of my arse, Jeremiah?’

‘Who knows which end does the talking? You haven’t said anything yet – that’s my point.’

I’m torn. On the one hand, this conversation is still wildly inappropriate in an office environment, but I get the impression he’s actually enjoying the exchange and, in a weird way, so am I.

‘So, what should the condemned woman put on her Cape Town bucket list, hm?’ I ask him. ‘Anywhere in particular I should go for my last meal, for example?’

‘That depends,’ he says, pretending to be thoughtful. ‘What kinds of things do you enjoy? I’d be happy to give you recommendations if you like. It seems only fair to make sure you have the best experience before I call the firing squad.’

This is my opportunity to use some of the information Sarah gave me earlier in the week, I realise, but I need to do it in Jeremiah’s back-handed complimentary style as this appears to be the way to get the best out of him.

‘I gather South Africa makes one or two vaguely drinkable wines,’ I offer nonchalantly. ‘I guess I ought to try some out of courtesy while I write my dazzling report. Do you know anything about wine, Jeremiah?’

‘Are you out of your fucking mind?’ he asks, but his eyes are twinkling with amusement. ‘“Vaguely drinkable”? I could have you deported just for that. And, as a matter of fact, I do know a thing or two about wine.’

Gotcha.

11

‘You seem a lot happier this morning. The fresh air is obviously good for you,’ Nathan observes as he lopes along the pavement beside me. We’ve discovered that the occupants of the tents outside our apartment block are great fans of a decent cup of hot coffee so, having delivered their orders, we’re heading towards the waterfront.

‘That’s partly it,’ I agree. ‘But I think I might also have had a bit of a breakthrough at work.’

‘Really? I’m delighted for you. Am I allowed to ask what happened?’

‘I think I’ve just been too understated and British up until now, and they didn’t respect it.’

‘Ah, yes. That doesn’t really work here. It’s an easy mistake to make, though. You kind of assume that a shared language means you share the same mode of expression, but that’s rarely the case.’

‘Is this the communications expert talking?’

‘It’s part of what I do, yes.’

‘What exactly do you do, if you don’t mind me asking?’

‘Not at all. I work with companies to help them improve the way they communicate, both internally with their employees and externally with their customers.’

‘What does that mean in real life?’

‘Well, it’s partly about using plain English rather than corporate-ese, for example.’

‘You’ve never played office lingo-bingo then, I take it,’ I tell him with a smile.

He smiles. ‘That’s a classic example of where companies get it wrong, isn’t it? If you’re a bigwig, doing a bigwig presentation with lots of clever words and all your employees are interested in is ticking off as many corporate phrases on their bingo cards as possible, you’ve lost them before you even start. How many boxes do you usually do, out of interest?’

‘Nine. It wants to be a challenge but also achievable.’

‘Across each presentation or the whole set?’