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‘Yes. I saw you sitting together at our wedding reception. You looked as thick as thieves, and then you danced together for ages. I could ask Mark to put out the feelers. You know, see if he’s interested.’
‘Look, he’s a lovely guy,’ I begin, searching for the right words to let her down gently without telling her that I don’t fancy him at all. ‘And he’s obviously doing very well for himself with all the development stuff, but there just isn’t a spark between us. Do you know what I mean?’
She evidently doesn’t, because she’s looking confused.
‘What development stuff?’ she asks.
‘You know, the executive coaching thing. Listening to CEOs whining about why they’re not being paid an extra million.’
To my surprise, she bursts out laughing. ‘Is that what he told you?’
‘Yes. Why?’
‘Oh, no reason. Did he, umm, go into detail?’
I’m a little puzzled by her question, but cast my mind back to the wedding. ‘He talked about how climbing the corporate ladder was a bit like mountaineering. You don’t know if the next peak is the summit until you get there. Then there was a load of stuff about working out where people were, where they wanted to be, and planning how to get them there – what?’
Hebe is trying valiantly to suppress her laughter, but the shaking of her shoulders, her bright-pink cheeks and the tears running down them are giving her away.
‘I’m sorry,’ she wheezes. ‘I shouldn’t laugh, but he’s no more an executive coach than I am.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘He drives an executive coach, Athena. He’s a bus driver.’
‘No! You mean all that stuff he told me was a lie?’
Hebe finally manages to get herself under control. ‘I wouldn’t say it was an outright lie, but he was certainly being very economical with the truth. I mean, he does help executives get to where they want to be, I suppose, but geographically rather than anything to do with their career.’
‘I don’t get it,’ I tell her. ‘Why would he lie about something like that?’
She thinks for a while before speaking. ‘Did you tell him about your job first?’
Again, I try to remember. ‘I think so. Why?’
‘Maybe he felt a bit intimidated by the mighty IT consultant and embellished the truth a little to try to big himself up to a similar level.’
‘I think he did a bit more than embellish it,’ I say crossly. ‘He bloody bent it out of all proportion. And what for? Let’s say I’d fancied him and we’d started seeing each other. How long would it have been before I’d found out the truth? What an idiot.’
‘I think it’s rather sweet, actually,’ Hebe observes. ‘He must have been very taken with you to completely reimagine his job just to impress you.’
‘I wouldn’t call it sweet. I’d call it depressing. If I can’t even trust Trevor to tell me the truth, my love life is doomed.’
Hebe smiles softly.
‘What?’ I ask her.
‘At least you’re lamenting it,’ she says. ‘Long-haired Athena didn’t seem to give a fig about relationships.’
‘I was going to ask you about that. You didn’t seem surprised by my new hairstyle when you opened the door.’
‘Of course not.’ She laughs again. ‘Did you seriously think Mum wouldn’t be on the phone the moment you left their house?’
I sigh. Of course she would have.
‘Do I want to know what she said?’
‘I’m sure it wasn’t anything she didn’t say to your face. She’s convinced you’re having some kind of breakdown, and she was trying to be supportive.’
