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I spent the whole drive chewing this over in my head before deciding that there’s nothing useful to be gained by going over it again and again. Even if I read Nathan completely wrong, that doesn’t mean he was the one for me. There was bound to have been another flaw in one of us that would have sabotaged everything in the end, so maybe I’ve just saved myself a load of heartache.

Normally, at this time on a Sunday evening, I’d either be recovering from one of Mum’s enormous roast lunches in front of the TV, or taking advantage of the fact I had time to do some home cooking, but I can’t stop thinking about Nathan: how weird our last conversation was, how I overstepped a line by reading his messages, but then clearly, he wasn’t going to be honest with me otherwise, so thank goodness I did. The more things go around my head, the more angry I get, to the point that I’m now marching around my house, ostensibly tidying, but the house is pretty clean given I’ve barely been here.

I’m just trying to calm myself down by thinking of the smell of rotten fish and trying to conjure up images of Mr and Mrs Barry getting it on when my phone starts ringing. In my rush to grab it, I nearly drop it, and my heart sinks further when I see the caller ID.

‘Hi, Mum,’ I say, trying to keep the breathlessness out of my voice.

‘Are you all right, darling? You sound like you’re having some sort of seizure.’

‘I’m fine. What can I do for you?’

‘I just thought I’d ring to see how your weekend with Trudi went,’ she says. ‘I know you’re going through a lot with the whole, well, you know, and I wondered whether you found the whole wedding thing a bit much.’

It takes me a moment to work out what she’s driving at, as my head is so full of Nathan that I’d completely forgotten the lie I told Dad to get her off my back.

‘Oh, umm, no. It was fine. It was lovely to see them and they’re pretty much sorted as far as the wedding is concerned. They were working on the table plan when I left.’

‘Good for them. I’m sure it will be quite the spectacle. And Trudi was OK with your, ah, new situation?’

‘Of course. Why wouldn’t she be?’

‘I suppose your father’s right. It’s all completely normal for your generation. It was very different in my day. I remember this poor girl in my year at school who we all suspected of being one of those and, although nothing was ever said to her face, we were all very wary around her in case she got the wrong impression. Anyway, I just wanted to say that we’ll be just as welcoming to any girlfriend you want to bring home as we have been to Mark and Henrietta. Do we say girlfriend? I do so detest the word “partner”.’

Although I’m surprised and pleased by Mum’s surprisingly enlightened attitude, this has gone as far as I want it to. Mum is evidently trying to do the right thing, but it’s just excruciatingly embarrassing for both of us and, now that Nathan could potentially come back on the scene, maybe I need to reset the parameters a bit.

‘I think, for me, it’s about the person more than the gender,’ I tell her carefully, parroting what Dad said to me during my conversation with him.

‘Oh!’ This time, she’s unable to keep the surprise out of her voice. ‘Are you saying you’re bisexual? Don’t you think that’s a bit greedy, darling?’

‘It’s quite normal in my generation,’ I tell her breezily. ‘Anyway, I’d better start getting ready for work in the morning. Love you.’

‘Love you too.’

As I turn my attention to fixing myself something to eat, I can’t help smiling a little. I can practically hear the conversation that will be playing out in Mum and Dad’s house as she imparts her latest titbit to him.

29

Life returns to pretty much normal. There’s still plenty to do on the South Africa project, and there are also some early murmurs about the next client, a Dublin-based company. I’m already looking forward to the prospect of something new – a fresh project to sink my teeth into, something to help me put thoughts of Nathan firmly behind me.

But first, there is Trudi and James’s wedding to attend. As I drive to the Kent house where I’ll be staying with the rest of the bridal party before the big day tomorrow, the sun is shining, but I can’t help glancing at the empty seat beside me and thinking that, in another world, Nathan might be coming as my plus one. But then I remember that he hid his fiancée from me – a fiancée he’d abandoned while she was pregnant with his child – and I feel relief again, that I’d trusted my instincts to check his messages, and found out the truth before I’d let myself really fall for him.

Now I feel more resolute than ever that relationships aren’t worth the hassle. I know not all men are scoundrels – I have plenty of kind, honest, wonderful men in my life between my dad and Troy and my brother-in-law – but clearly enough men are for me to keep my guard firmly up.

When I pull up outside the venue, I barely have time to register how grand it is before I see Trudi sitting waiting for me on the front steps. I’d expected to find her inside, busy with last-minute preparations, so I’m surprised she’s come to greet me in person. She stands up as I park, so she’s definitely here to meet me. This must be something wedding related, although I can’t think what.

‘Hiya!’ I call as I step out the car. ‘Everything OK?’

‘Everything’s great, but I just needed to talk to you before we get sucked back in to things. You’re never going to believe this, but I think I know who your Nathan is. And, if I’m right, he’s coming to the wedding.’

* * *

‘Speak,’ I tell her as we make our way into the manor’s impressive grounds.

‘OK. This might just be a coincidence, but I think you’ll agree it’s one hell of one if it is. James and I were just doing some final tweaks on the seating plan this morning, and I was sorting out the placenames we’d had printed. Now, one of the problems with James and his public-school friends is that they all have ludicrous nicknames for each other. That’s fine for the ones I know, but there are a couple I haven’t met yet, and I had to ask him their real names to make sure everyone was sitting in the right place. After all, we couldn’t put “Stinkbomb” on the table plan or place setting.’

‘What’s this got to do with Nathan?’ I ask, unable to conceal my impatience now.

‘I’m getting to that. James said we had to be particularly careful where we put one of his mates, because he was fragile, having just gone through a really messy break-up. Naturally, being the caring fiancée that I am, I asked for more details and get this: her name is Kayleigh. James didn’t like her; he said she was controlling and his mate had definitely become less since they’d been together. They’d been engaged and she’d told him she was pregnant. Then they’d split up, and she’s been harassing him ever since. Sound familiar?’