Page 104

There we go. I said it, and I can’t take it back. But I don’t think I can move on without knowing. It’s one thing that she accepted the affair, but this is a much bigger issue for me.

She frowns. “Your father obviously messed up, but you’re the one who left. I wouldn’t say he abandoned you.”

“I wasn’t talking about myself.”

My mother looks confused, but why? I don’t necessarily want to spell it out for her, but for some reason she’s not getting it.

“I was talking about Sarah’s child.” A part of me wonders if she even remembers Sarah’s name, but the way her eyes widen tells me she does.

“Sarah’s child?”

“Yes, he just … sent them off. Never even checked in on them. And I’d know, because I’m close with them.” It feels strange admitting that last part to her. Up until the gala, she obviously thought that I was unaware of the affair and the pregnancy. Now she’s finding out that I’m actually close with them? Yeah, not a fun conversation.

My mom stays silent, but tears roll down her face, and I think she’s stopped breathing all together.

I wait, slightly annoyed that she’s not answering the question. Obviously, this must be hard for her, but she made a choice too. She didn’t have to let him get away with it.

“I didn’t know.” The words barely come out of her mouth. “About a child.”

“What?” I search her face, looking for any indicator that she’s lying to me. “You said you knew. At the gala, you said you knew.”

“I didn’t know there was a kid. He admitted to the affair, said it only happened once and that the woman resigned afterwards.”

I gape at her.

She didn’t know. She wasn’t aware he’d abandoned a child like it was nothing.

“When you said at the gala that you knew, I assumed you meant you knew about everything—both Sarah, and Mira, Sarah’s child.”

She glances up at me now and shakes her head. “I didn’t know, I promise.”

And I believe her, because she seems genuinely shocked and devastated. I didn’t think I could hate my dad more, but here we are. He pretended to come clean but left out the biggest part. My mom had no idea he had a child with another woman until about five minutes ago.

“How do you know about the child?” She cocks her head at me in confusion.

“I went looking for Sarah after graduation.” I scratch my jaw, uncomfortable to admit that I befriended the woman her husband had an affair with. “I don’t know why, but I knew she probably didn’t leave willingly. I wanted to see if she was okay. I always felt so bad about how dad treated people. When I found her, I learned that she had a kid. It wasn’t hard to put two and two together.”

“And you talked to her? Met the child?”

I force myself to make eye contact with her. “Yes, that’s why I moved to New Mexico. I mean, I was always going to move away from Cottondale, I just hadn’t decided on place yet. But when I found out about my sister, that decision was made for me.”

“You have a relationship with her?”

“Yes. With Mira and Sarah. We’re really close.”

“Mira.” My mom says the name as if she’s testing out a new word.

“Look, I don’t condone what either one of them did, but Sarah was only twenty. And you know how dad is. She was a victim. I mean, it was consensual, but … you know.”

My mom nods. “It’s your father’s fault, I know that. I’m so sorry. I truly am. I will try my best to make it up to you.” She hesitates for a second. “I am not okay with what he did.”

“I’m sorry I was the one to tell you.”

“I’m sorry you had to do it. It should’ve been your dad. And I’m sorry you had to live with this for the past ten years. But I’m happy you have a relationship with your sister.”

“I’m willing to try to have a relationship with you too.”

She looks like she’s on the verge of tears again. “I’d love that. I’d love to get to know you. And your life.”