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Hayden: Wait. Why didn’t you tell me yesterday?

Me: idk… I needed some time to sit with it I guess?

Hayden: I get that. I’m really happy for you, Robs

Me: now I only have to survive the move and then I can breathe again.

Hayden: You’ll hold your breath till then? That’s impressive

Me: were you this annoying when you were here?

Hayden: Yeah, you just didn’t notice because you were so distracted by how hot I am

Me: you’re just average.

Hayden: Ouch.

Me: send me a pic. I could be remembering it wrong.

Hayden: Asking for pics, huh? What do I get in return?

Me: maybe a compliment?

Hayden: But I’m shy

Me: I’m not asking for a dick pic.

Hayden: Oh… totally knew that.

Hayden: *attachment sent

Hayden: Instead of a compliment can I get a picture of you and my fluffy boy?

Me: *attachment sent

Hayden: AAAAAAAHHHHH

Me: ???

Hayden: God, I miss you so much. You’re so pretty

Me: I am not god, but I get that a lot.

Hayden: I’m sending sex toys to your place of work tomorrow

Hayden: What are you doing?

Me: not you.

Hayden: Were you this funny when I was there?

Me: yes, you just didn’t notice because you were distracted by how hot I am.

Hayden: You’re right

Me: you were supposed to say something funny or mean…

Hayden: No, that’s your area of expertise