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“Robin, I’m not coming to visit.” I take a breath. “I’m staying. For good.”
Chapter 40
Robin
“You’re what?”
I’m losing my mind.
That’s the only explanation. Because it just sounded like Hayden said he was going to stay. After he just casually gave me a house! I still haven’t wrapped my mind around that. I doubt I’ll ever wrap my head around that. I’ll die thinking that all of this is just some fucked-up joke. I can’t just own a house.
The only reason a tiny part of me believes that it is, in fact, true is that I know Hayden would never do anything to knowingly hurt me or mess with me.
Which is another reason my heart already knows he means what he’s saying, even though my brain is still battling that revelation.
“Surprise,” he says with a small chuckle.
“You’re not.”
“I am.”
“No.” I shake my head, still in disbelief.
“You don’t want me to?” he teases, but he searches my face like he actually thinks I might not want him to.
“Of course I want you to. But you hate it here. You don’t like Cottondale. And you have your life in New Mexico, and your sister, and your job, and … Wait, you’re not moving because of me, are you?”
My heart starts to race, the ringing in my ears warning me that I’m about to have an anxiety attack. Mike’s words from a few months ago come back to me. Don’t accept more than he should give. I breathe in shakily. “Because you can’t do that. You’re going to resent me. You can’t give up your life and move here just for me. You’ll hate me. Your sister will hate me. And I will hate myself.”
He looks amused now, the corner of his mouth lifting into a tiny smile.
“Are you laughing at me?” I sputter. “Wait, so this is a joke? No, it’s not. Is it? Oh my God, I’m freaking out.”
He reaches over to grab both of my hands, his gaze on me. “Take a breath, love.” He takes in a deep breath with me, nodding as I exhale deeply. “Okay, good. Now to answer a few of your questions.”
I try my best to look at him without panicking, the softness in his brown eyes calming my heartbeat.
“First of all, Mira will not hate either one of us. She and Sarah told me to move back here.” When he sees my surprised look, he laughs. “They don’t want to get rid of me, but they want me to be happy. Plus, I’ll probably wake up tomorrow and my sister will already be in college. It’s not like we were going to be living in the same town for the rest of our lives. And I’ll obviously visit her. She wants to visit too.”
“What about your job?”
“I quit my job.”
“What?” I stare at him in disbelief.
“I never meant to be there so long. I’m very grateful I had that job, but it’s time to leave now. You inspired me, actually. You let go of the job that wasn’t serving you anymore. My boss offered me a promotion the other day, and I just knew in my gut it wasn’t right.”
“What will you do instead?”
He shrugs. “I have some ideas, but I want to focus on the move first.”
“Okay, but you hate Cottondale,” I remind him, still worried he’s making the wrong decision.
Hayden shakes his head. “I never hated it. I thought I did but …”
He looks around, his gaze fixing on the sunset in the distance. “The things my dad did made me hate being here,” he finally confesses. “I hated myself when I was here. I told myself that leaving was the solution. And it was at the time, but I was just hiding from everything. Ignoring your feelings is a lot easier when there’s physical distance. But then, when I was forced to confront everything this summer, I was finally able to let go of that hurt. I don’t have to change my life because he fucked up. I’m still pissed at my dad, don’t get me wrong.”
I laugh, and he finally looks at me again.
