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“Jagiya,” he said in a low voice that sent tingles skittering across my skin.

“Jihoon,” I replied, pressing my lips together. “Who are you trying to impress?” I gestured to the low-lit interior of the plush car.

“You, if it’s working. No one, if it isn’t.”

He looked unbearably pleased with himself. I laughed, and leaned closer, breathing him in. He smelt like fresh laundry.

He wouldn’t tell me a thing about where we were going, though I tried guessing the entire car ride. I assumed we were going out to eat, but when we pulled up at a riverside quay, I didn’t try to pretend that I wasn’t confused. He led me out of the limo and over to a sleek boat. Mr Yoon was standing next to a man who was, judging by the white uniform, the captain. We were led aboard and up onto the front deck, which was laid out with a blanket and a picnic basket. Fairy lights were strung around the railings. I took it in with a quiet gasp before turning to Jihoon. He wasn’t looking at the setup. He was looking at me, a smile playing across his lips.

“Joon, when did you have time to organise this?”

He held out a hand to help me down onto the blanket.

“To be honest, I had help,” he said sheepishly.

The boat jerked slightly as the engine roared to life, and we began to steer away from the jetty.

“I asked the hotel concierge for some ideas, and they suggested this as the best way to see the city. I made some calls.” He pulled out a bottle from within the picnic hamper.

He had organised a last-minute private boat tour of the Seine by making some calls. Sometimes I was amazed by what money, and some terrifyingly competent people could do.

“I wanted to see Paris with you,” he said, peeling the foil off the bottle. “But you and I, we can’t walk down the street together. Not yet, anyway. I did not want to hide you away in a hotel room. Here, it’s just us.”

And it almost was. Mr Yoon and the captain weren’t too far away. There was always someone, but they were far enough that we could pretend.

“Here, I can hold your hand. Touch you. Kiss you.” His lips quirked in a way that made my toes curl. I looked away, smiling as butterflies took flight in my stomach.

It got colder out on the river, and Joon wrapped a blanket around us, cocooning us against the chill and the rest of the world. We watched the lights of the city reflecting off the river as it lapped gently in the breeze, drinking Champagne and eating fruit and cheese, and all the while I tried to pretend that my heart wasn’t expanding in my chest, filling every empty part of me that I’d learned to live with.

There was a Polaroid camera in the basket. When I’d asked about it, Joon had just said that if we couldn’t ever post the photos we took, at least we’d have them just for ourselves. Every photo we took felt like evidence we existed, and I put them all carefully in my bag. None of them were any good. Jihoon always got too close, and mine came out blurry, or over-exposed, but that wasn’t the point.

As the laughter from our silly poses faded, Joon’s face took on a more serious expression I didn’t know how to interpret.

“Are you okay?” I asked, brushing my fingertips over his cheekbone and turning his face back to mine. His eyes held mine, shining with the light of the city.

“I don’t want to be the thing you pretend isn’t real, Kaiya.”

My fingers paused, and I frowned. “What does that mean?”

“You know what I want. I’m not asking you to go on public television with me tomorrow,” he huffed a small laugh and raised a hand to mine, pulling my fingers from his face before pressing a kiss to my palm. “But I am asking… I need to know… Kaiya, what are we doing? Is this temporary?”

I recoiled slightly. “Temporary?”

He looked frustrated. His jaw clenched as he looked down at my hand that he now held in his lap. “I am asking you what you want. I want you, Kaiya. I want all of you. But I need you to tell me what you want, because I do not want to assume. Not again.”

For a moment, the only sound was the water lapping at the side of the boat, the slight whistle of the wind over the waves and the city moving all around us. It made me so aware of this little bubble we’d created for ourselves. And wasn’t that always how it was? Us in the world, but isolated from it. It reminded me of the precarious position we’d put ourselves in. Being together was not easy. It came with conditions, rules and a price. None of those things disappeared just because we wanted each other.

But as I sat there, cocooned in a blanket with the man who hadn’t promised me the world, only that he would be with me in it, I understood something. There would never be a perfect time. Never be an uncomplicated life. And so I looked at him. At what he was asking me. And my eyes were wide open.

“Baek Jihoon,” I said playfully, despite my voice wavering ever so slightly. “Are you asking me to be your girlfriend?”

He laughed, and raised my hands to his mouth to press a kiss to my knuckles. “Yes, Kaiya. Will you?”

I rolled my eyes as I grinned. “Only if it makes you stop chasing me all over the world.”

He laughed again, his eyes shining. “Technically, jagiya, it is you who are chasing me all over the world. Secondly,” he said, leaning in and brushing his lips across mine. “I would chase you to the end of the universe.”

“Still a caveman,” I sighed, waiting for his kiss.