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“No,” I sniffed.
“Where are you?” she barked.
“Paris,” I replied weakly.
“In public?”
“Yes,” I said, sneaking glances around. No one was looking.
“Go back to your hotel. Now.”
“Yeah,” I said automatically. “Yeah. Okay. Why?”
“Because everyone knows Jihoon is in Paris. If they find out you are, too…”
She didn’t need to finish the sentence. Nausea roiled in my stomach, and I swallowed thickly.
“I’m not far,” I stammered, getting unsteadily to my feet, picking up my discarded coffee cup to throw in the bin next to the bench.
“Don’t run,” Becka warned me. “Don’t do anything to draw attention. Go now, but don’t make a big deal of it, okay?”
“Okay. Okay,” I repeated, more steadily now that someone had told me what to do. “Becka, how did you know?”
“Babes, I’ve had a Google alert for you for months,” she said, as if this was somehow normal. “Now go. Let me know when you’re there.”
Becka hung up, leaving me staring at a device that felt like an unexploded bomb. I shuddered and shoved it into my pocket and headed back the way I had come, but at a decidedly less leisurely pace than I’d had on the way here.
I was hyper-aware of everyone I passed. It felt like ants were crawling beneath my clothes. I had to force myself not to rub at my skin, or search the face of every person on the street just to see if they were looking at me.
Images played on the inside of my eyelids every time I closed my eyes. My toothbrush next to his. The way his face looked when he’d held me after pulling me out of that taxi. The photo of our balcony, where Jihoon had been sitting just out of shot.
The world had seen pieces of my relationship. Parts of me I’d never chosen to share. My breath hitched, and my eyes stung, but I blinked and put one foot in front of the other.
Not far from the hotel, I looked up to avoid someone in my path, only to glimpse at what looked like the reflection of a camera. I flinched, but when I looked again, it was just a man on his phone, looking at me strangely. I paused to catch my breath, putting a hand over my pounding heart.
Someone called my name and instinctively I turned.
A camera was shoved in my face, and I yelped, taking a step back and nearly losing my balance. I didn’t think, I just reacted. I held up my hands and spun around, darting for the hotel just a few yards away. My heart thundered against my ribs, and I could hear pounding footsteps behind me, repeated calls of my name as I bounded up the steps to the hotel doors. The doorman’s eyes flared wide, and I don’t know what expression he saw on my face, but he put out a hand to guide me through the rotating doors and stood in front of the person following. I hadn’t even seen their face, and when I looked back, all I saw was a long, black lens, and a person being obstructed by the red-coated doorman.
I was too frightened to feel more than grateful as I hurried towards the elevators, trying not to see the way the others in the lobby had turned to stare at the commotion.
I barely breathed the entire way up to our floor, only feeling safe once the door to our suite was locked behind me.
My first instinct was to rush over to where my laptop sat on the desk, but I recoiled from the thought, knowing what I’d see if I did.
Search engine alerts I’d long-ago set up for dating rumours, notifications from my social media, emails…
No.
I pulled out my phone to text Becka.
Me
I’m back at the hotel.
Becka
Stay there. I’ve got your social media and emails. Do NOT log on. Do not pick up any unknown numbers. Unless it’s me, or your folks, you are uncontactable.
