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He followed us into the suite, but then positioned himself along the far wall, giving the impression that while he was present, he was studiously avoiding us.

No one in the suite turned as the door opened. It was packed. Far more people were in here than I had seen at any other stop, but then, this was the final show of the Reset tour, and it was back on home turf, so I supposed it made sense. Some I recognised, most I did not. I knew from the original itinerary that all the media team were backstage, doing crew interviews and filming. It’s where I would have been tonight.

Sihyeon had sent me a message earlier today telling me to just relax and enjoy the show.

I clasped Becka’s hand tightly as we moved further into the room that overlooked the main arena. She squeezed my fingers reassuringly, and I tried not to notice as some people turned to look at me. I could tell immediately who recognised me and who didn’t, judging by how high up their eyebrows rose, or if their mouths popped open. Some people were discreet, heads snapping around to murmur urgently to their companions, but as we walked through the crowd to the balcony overlooking the stage, I found I just didn’t care.

I’d been publicly exposed as Jihoon’s girlfriend. My character had been ripped apart, my history, my career, my blog, even my schooling had all been pulled open and examined. I’d been fired, and my future had never been more uncertain.

But tonight was the final show in the GVibes world tour, and I found I did not give a fuck what a few more people thought about me being here. I had my best friend beside me, I had people I’d worked with, people I admired, and some I hadn’t realised even remembered me at all speaking up on my behalf. I felt like I could withstand anything, but tonight I only wanted to be another face in the crowd.

There was a different vibe to the show tonight. It was evident from the very first moment, as the VCR stopped playing on the screens overhead, and the stadium went quiet. The lightsticks in the crowd, all previously dark, now lit up in pulsing, multi-hued synchronicity. Awed murmurs rose above the audience like heat waves rising from the ground, because this was something new. The silent beats of the coloured pulses began to be reflected by splashes on the massive screens above the stages. Colours from across the spectrum, reflecting the GVibes ethos.

My mind flashed back to the bright white proof copy of the Reset CD I’d been sent before leaving London. I’d thought at the time it was just a plain white disc, but now it made perfect sense.

Looking down now at the waving lightsticks glowing in every possible shade, I realised I’d been right. Every audience member had become part of the constellation. Auriga. That’s what this was. It had never been just about the pretty visuals, or the drone shows. The audience was the constellation. Vast, varied, drawn together across distance.

GVibes were the bright white light. Their music was the prism. And this? This ocean of light was what we became because of what they gave to us. The light was what we gave back to them.

The members on stage were as high-energy as I’d ever seen, even from as high up in the stands as we were.

For the most part, I had stayed away from leaning too close to the railings. The seats below us were not far away, and I was wary of drawing attention, but that hadn’t meant I’d held myself back from enjoying the hell out of the final show. Becka and I had made fools of ourselves the entire way through. No one else in the box was going as hard as we were. Becka surprised me by having learned some of the lyrics to their songs – the English parts, anyway – and together, we sang and danced.

On more than one occasion, the members had looked in our direction, even though I doubted they could see much of us from the stage. Jihoon and Woojin had both come to our side of the staging for longer than was strictly necessary, clearly showboating, delighting both of us, and Becka made no secret of the way she openly admired Woojin.

The end of the concert was coming. It felt like they’d been on stage mere minutes, but each song they performed was another countdown to the end of Reset, and no one was ready.

The final part of the concert had come. The encores, where the group would sing two songs not on the set list. These songs were a gift to Vibers, a treat pulled from their extensive discography that fans might otherwise never be able to hear live. A thank-you for all the years of support and love.

I, along with most other people, waited anxiously to see what the first song would be. But as the lightsticks in the crowd dimmed to a soft, hazy blue that was almost the colour of storm clouds rolling in, I didn’t recognise the opening few bars at first, but when a single spotlight illuminated Jihoon, on his own and holding an acoustic guitar, my hand flew to my mouth because I suddenly knew exactly what song it was.

He’d performed it only once before. Back in November, in LA at the show GVibes had done before the Music Choice Awards, but back then the performance had been in the original Korean version, with one chorus in English. Now, I sat in the crowd of a very different show, watching him sing the entire song in English, playing the guitar.

And it was for me.

I had always wondered if this song had belonged to me, even if only in part. Because this was the song he’d played for me in his booth in ENT long before he’d ever released it. Hearing it now, like this, broken down to its barest parts, I think it had always been mine, because he was mine.

Hold on to me, even if it’s just for tonight

Don’t let me fade

Pull me closer, like you did before

Hold on, until we can’t anymore

I leaned forward over the rails, and I didn’t even care that the people below had begun pointing up at me.

I’m gonna love you

Despite all the mess we made

The world could close in on us

But all I’d see is you

I felt his eyes on me the way you felt sunlight on your skin. It didn’t matter how far he was. He was everywhere to me.

Tears ran down my face, and I made no move to wipe them away because I couldn’t take my eyes from him. I was vaguely aware of the people around us, thousands between us, but none mattered. He could be a stadium away, or a continent away, and he would still be beside me. I understood that now.