Page 46

He hadn’t used my number since Seoul, and this was our first exchange since?

Urgh.

I took a taxi back to the resort, arriving not long after the sun had set. I was hot and sweaty, and my blood was still thrumming with irritation. I just wanted to go back to my room and have a long, cold shower.

I pushed the rotating doors and entered the lobby. I was halfway across the room when a hand slid against mine, fingers threading through my own. It happened so fast I barely had time to squeak in shock before I was being dragged the rest of the way across the lobby and through the doors into one of the empty banquet rooms.

Gasping, I pulled away and spun around just as Jihoon yanked his hood down, breathing hard, his face pale in the warm sconce lights.

“Joon – what the hell?” I looked around, even though I knew the room was empty. I still felt the heat of his skin against my hand as I reflexively clenched and unclenched it.

“Where were you?” His voice rumbled low in his chest as he stared down at me, a tic fluttering across his jaw.

“Out. In the city. I told you that.” I crossed my arms and took a step back.

“On your own?” His voice was deceptively low, but his eyes were almost wide as they took me in with quick, assessing glances.

“As I said.”

“Why would you go out there on your own?” he hissed through clenched teeth.

I blinked, my arms falling slack. “I’m sorry?”

“Do you have no regard for your own safety?”

“Joon – I was fine! I wasn’t walking down back alleys or swinging my bank card around.” My voice rose, though whether from incredulity or frustration I couldn’t be sure.

“Anything could have happened, and no one would have known. Why did you go out on your own?” He took a step closer, looking down at me, his normally soft eyes seeming to burn.

“Um, because I can,” I scoffed.

He made a noise in the back of his throat and looked away, closing his eyes briefly.

“Kaiya,” he said slowly, like he was trying to reason with me.

“Jihoon,” I mimicked, taking a petty kind of delight in the way his eyes narrowed in response.

“It’s not safe.” His voice was low, almost on the edge of pleading. I saw him wince, as if he’d been hit with a memory, or a possibility. His head lowered to hold my gaze so intently I could almost feel it against my overheated skin.

I took a half-step backwards, because this was how it always went with us. Except I wasn’t willing to let it go that way anymore.

“Jihoon, you’re allowed to worry about me. But you don’t get to manage me just because you’re worried. Not anymore.”

He inhaled sharply, his shoulders slumped before he looked away. I saw the way his jaw clenched before his head dropped.

“Fuck,” he said under his breath. “Fuck,” he said again, louder. “I – you’re right. I’m sorry, I–” He broke off and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, and when he reopened them, they were wide with something that looked like remorse. “I am trying.”

“I can take care of myself, Joon. I’m all grown up,” I said in a softer tone.

“I see that.” He took a step closer.

I stood there, tipping my head back to match his gaze. “What do you see?” I asked curiously.

“You, jagiya. Always you.” His eyes bore into mine, until they dropped to my mouth, my lips parting around a ragged breath.

My hands rose, almost like I was seeking something to grab on to, to steady myself, or maybe to push him away, but between one breath and the next, he turned away and all but fled the room, leaving me nearly swaying in his wake.

I didn’t see him at all in Jakarta.