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Eventually, the conversation turned to Reset.
“All five of you have songwriting credits on the album,” John said, “but Jihoon, you wrote, or co-wrote every track. Did you go into the writing process knowing what you wanted the album to say?”
I watched as attention shifted to Jihoon, and as he leaned forward to pick up his mic, the studio lights glinted off a thin chain around his neck, and the ring hanging from it.
My hand flew to my mouth.
“The time we were gone allowed us to step back from who we had become since we’d debuted and try to understand who we are now. Not just as performers, but as people. We debuted so long ago, I have grown up in this world. I think it’s only as an adult that I have had a chance to understand what that meant, and how it has shaped me.”
I watched him speak as I fiddled with my own necklace. Jihoon rarely spoke about his upbringing, either in or out of the industry. To see him speak so candidly now was unexpected. The audience had fallen completely silent.
“When you do what we do, there will always be a conversation about who the person is under the persona. What’s real, what’s not real. Sometimes I think not even we know the answer.” He smiled but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.
“When we came out of the military we almost immediately went into the songwriting process. We worked with so many producers, and songwriters and we came out with, I think,” he looked to Woojin, “maybe thirty, or forty songs?” Woojin nodded in agreement.
“We had so many songs we could have used for the album, but we wanted something that told the story of who we were. Who we believe we are, anyway,” he said with a shrug. “That is why it starts with Shelter. It tells the story of how we were trying to find out who we were after so long of not being the persona on stage. The rest of the album is a journey to go from the shelter of hiding behind a persona to the final track, Capella, which is a song about letting our real voices shine through – our real personality.”
The hosts allowed the audience sufficient time to scream and cheer their appreciation before asking the next question.
“So would you say that the album is a reflection of all the ways you have changed since your debut?” John asked.
Jihoon considered the question before he said, “I think it’s more about beginning again, as artists and as people, without pretending the past did not happen, or did not shape us. Reset is not about starting all over from the beginning. It’s about accepting all the things that have brought us to where we are now.”
I swallowed, unable to take my eyes from the ring just barely visible at his collar.
The interview moved on to lighter subject matter. “As a group, you’ve been together more than a decade. Are there still things about each other that manage to surprise you?” Holly asked.
Minjae picked up his mic, and I expected him to say something profound. “Every day I am shocked and amazed that our younger members find new ways to test my patience.”
“I work very hard,” Lee said with a broad grin.
I barked out a laugh before I slapped a hand over my mouth.
“What about you, Ace?” Holly asked. “You were only twelve when you met the rest of the group. Do they still baby you?”
He barely opened his mouth before the rest of the group answered almost simultaneously.
“Yes.”
“He acts like a baby.”
“I am a grown man,” he protested.
“No,” Woojin said.
The interview went on, until it was finally time for GVibes to perform.
The cameras swung round to a raised platform where the members stood in formation, before the backing track cued and as one, they began their complicated, but pared-down, choreography.
Most of the audience had started up a well-known fan chant, while others just screamed.
The fans’ screaming continued for so long after the song ended that John gave up trying to calm them, and just sat down on the sofa, fanning himself with his cue cards, while Holly took up the fanchant alongside the audience.
The members were led out of the studio and were gone by the time I filtered back. I’d lingered a few extra minutes to speak to some of the audience. I’d just wanted a few quotes on their experience. It hadn’t taken me more than ten minutes, but by then the group were gone. I was disappointed, but not surprised. Normally, the days leading up to the concerts were firmly blocked out for the members. It was why they preferred getting into a city a few days in advance, if time allowed, because otherwise the most they’d see of any stop would be through car windows on the trips between the hotel and the venue.
A small, ridiculous part of me wished I could have seen London with them, even if it was just one outing, like we’d been able to do in Kyoto or Toronto.
It was silly. This tour was nothing to do with me. The group had nothing to do with me, not really. Even if I felt like we had a tentative friendship, I had no right to their time.