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I can’t.

When I reach for the knob, Cain spins me around, pinning me to the door with a forearm on either side of my head. He watches me for a moment, studying me before running one hand down to my neck, where he moves his thumb up and down along my pulse point.

“Why do you think you’re being ridiculous?” The smooth timbre and rhythmic motion of his thumb are soothing. I need to stop being so affected by him.

“It’s not like we are in a relationship… We never talked about exclusivity.” I swallow in a feeble attempt to fight back the tears. What I said to Dean earlier was true. I don’t expect love or loyalty from anyone. But with Cain, I want it. I can’t have it any other way with him. “While you’ve been out, creating something more for yourself. I’ve been silently staying loyal to you.” I lean into his touch. Someone who causes me so much pain shouldn’t be able to make me feel better. “You get to do what you want. Have girls hang off your arm… Whatever else you do. I let a good friend walk me home, and you punch him.” I swallow. “Please let me go.” My words are a mere whisper, pleading with him. I can’t become numb when I’m with him. I need to make the feelings stop.

“No, I won’t.” He kisses my head, and I release a choked sob.

“I can’t do this anymore, Cain. I’m not okay with being your secret side piece. Every couple of weeks Pru sets up a double date for us, and every time, I tell her to cancel mine. She doesn’t understand because I don’t have any good reasons. Because if I weren’t staying loyal to you, I’d be going.” He brushes his lips along my forehead, and another tear falls. Cain darts out his tongue and catches it, then kisses beneath my eyes.

“Come with me.” Cain laces his fingers with mine, and as I always do, I follow. He slides onto the piano bench, pulling me down onto his lap, arms wrapped around my middle. Cain’s long fingers begin a slow melody. L.O.V.E. by Nat King Cole. “You have every right to be upset, but hear me out…” He nuzzles his nose into my hair, my neck, then kisses my jaw. “My night with her was one of the worst nights in my life, probably one of hers, too.” My stomach tightens and twists. I don’t want to hear this. But he nuzzles me again, and this time I’m leaning into him. I take a deep breath in, matching his steady ones. Cedar and the lavender and mint from his cigarettes fill my senses… I can breathe better when I take him in. “That night you didn’t show up at the lamppost in Blackmore, I went to the bar in town and got drunk.” He kisses my jaw twice, but I stay focused on his veiny fingers as they move effortlessly over the keys. “Morgan was there with a pretty convincing argument of why we would be a match. Legally, anyway. Not a real relationship... I’m not a safe person for you to be with, Violet. I figured it would be best if I really did leave you alone…” His lips press against my neck, his nose brushing down to my shoulder. “I left before anything happened. Anyone other than you sickens me. So, I knew when I came home, I would make you mine.” He nuzzles the shell of my ear and whispers, “You are my only.”

“I still don’t know if I can do this… It hurts going out with everyone and having you ignore me…” I lean into him. I don’t want to end something that I love so much. But being his secret is painful.

“I’m not ready to go public with you yet… There’s too much at risk. But you should be able to tell your friends. So, we will.” He chuckles, and I glance over my shoulder at him. “Although they may already know after today…” His rare smile is so sweet it makes me ache.

“Why’s that?”

“I lost my temper; every ounce of control went out the window. I questioned and punched Dean in front of them the moment he stepped through the door.” He bites down on my earlobe, and I shudder. “They all heard me tell him that you’re mine.”

I smile so wide. Dean was right; I do enjoy Cain’s outbursts of possessiveness. It makes me feel wanted. I struggle to put faith in that feeling, in believing that he wants me. But would he be spending so much time with me if he didn’t? Would he kiss me so softly? I don’t understand what is so dangerous about being with him, but he’s never lied to me before. Maybe, just for a little while, I can take what I can of the good feelings that come along with being with him. Maybe being a black whole of emotions can wait.

He begins the song again on the piano, but this time, a deep, rich hum emanates from his chest. The sound is as smooth as honey and thaws the remnants of the icy pain that’s been building. We’ve spent years in this room together for classes and rehearsals. Creating music together. We never shared our album; we only made a copy for each of us. I haven’t heard him sing since then; I find myself fixated. Then he starts to sing, and I’m in awe. He looks at me with his smoky grey eyes, and I fall into the peace of the night that they offer. I breathe deep, letting his voice seep in to haunt my thoughts. He locks his gaze with mine, and with every word, he brushes his lips somewhere along my body: my lips, my forehead, my jaw, my chest. My normally aching heart flutters from his uncharacteristically tender touch. When the final notes hit and he sings the final words while staring deep into my eyes, he seals his lips to mine. And successfully, possibly dangerously, searing himself deep within my soul.

“Now, tell me, Kitten.” he lifts his lips and runs his teeth along my neck. Goosebumps erupt over my body as I shudder. Dangerous. “What made you put this little number on?” He runs his palm up my thigh and grabs hold of my waist. With the other, he strokes the inside of my thigh. I swallow as my senses spark at the situation.

“You know Pru… I’m practically her living doll.” A rumble moves through his chest, his palm moving farther up my inner thigh.

“Not her doll. My doll.” He bites my ear as he tears through my tights, shoving two fingers inside of me, grabbing hold of my pussy. His fingers press hard against my inner wall, moving the tips in micromovements. “You certainly gave Dean an eyeful.” He moves his hand up my chest, pressing my body to his as he works me until I’m soaking his fingers.

“I didn’t agree to this for him.” My voice blends with the air. Cain rakes his teeth down my neck and along my shoulder. He pumps his fingers in and out with deep pressure.

“Tell me, Kitten, who was it for?” Another pump of his fingers, and I buck. My temperature rises, and beads of sweat chill my chest.

“You… I-I wanted you to notice me.” Cain presses me down on his lap and thrusts upward, rubbing his noticeable bulge against my ass as he bites my earlobe.

“I always notice you. What I don’t want is for everyone else to.” He thrusts against me again, working my pussy to the point the world turns cloudy. A rumble moves through him; his voice becomes a low growl. “It seems to me that we need a few new rules.” Cain’s touch is commanding. Owning. He owns my body and knows how to play it as expertly as he does the keys on the piano. “I’m the only one allowed to see you like this. I’ll keep your legs perpetually marked if that’s what I have to do to keep them from sight.” He thrusts against me with a grunt. “Second. Don’t touch Dean, and don’t let him touch you.” A whimper escapes me as he pumps his fingers in and out, pressing my most sensitive parts as I swell around him and soak his fingers.

“Ah!” I yelp, all I see is white. My body convulses in his hold while he grips and holds me to him. I’m shaking and melting into his hold as my body relaxes. My ears ring, and he’s still holding on with his fingers deep inside of me. Something stings. Cain’s chest rises and falls, the air whooshing from his nostrils. I look over my shoulder; my eyes widen when I see him.

His gaze zeroed in on me, nostrils flared, and blood coating his lips, dripping down his chin. He darts out his tongue, making a show as he slowly runs the tip along his lips. Drinking the crimson that paints his lips, his teeth.

Dangerous. Savage. Completely unhinged.

“C-Cain?” I cut myself off when I follow his line of sight, my shoulder, now marked with a perfect bite mark. Unlike previous marks, this one penetrated deep beneath the skin. This one is permanent. A shiver moves down my spine when I meet his eyes again. I swear, he could swallow me whole.

“Don’t forget who you belong to, Violet.”

Cain

Chapter 15

Noise. All I hear is noise. The theater is packed tonight for the celebration of Mr. Jobinsky’s life and grand reopening with Dean at the helm. On any regular night, the bouncer would put a cap on the entrance. Tickets sold equal the seated occupancy; that way, things don’t get too rowdy, and everyone can enjoy the performances. But not tonight. Tonight is a celebration for Dean, and this place will be as chaotic as he is on the inside. Every voice throughout the room blends so that all I hear is a steady hum. God, I don’t want to be here.

My stomach twists when I notice how many women are wearing the maiden crest. A torch surrounded by rosebuds. Carrying the future forward with the promise of fertility.

These women sell their bodies to the government. They get married by 25, bear children, and in return receive whatever they need to live a comfortable life. It sounds great on paper, but our government has no business being so involved in marriage or the production of children. Humans have never struggled in that aspect; our population will grow in time without these sanctions. Here, a marriage license for a registered woman is more like a property transfer contract.