Page 79

For us, there is an edge more. We float within the space between friends and lovers. Never fully fitting in one or the other.

Dean removes his hand from his pocket, pulling out a bracelet. He fastens it around my wrist, then holds my hand, lifting my fingers to his lips.

“I’m always here for you, Zvyozdochka.”

My chest tightens, and my heart swells when I look at his gift. Embracing my wrist are small, elegant, dark amethysts linked together with sparkling stars.

“You’re talking like you’ve changed your mind…” I bite my lower lip, lifting my gaze to meet his soft brown eyes.

“Never… There’s still time for Cain to come around. I wanted to give this to you, and remind you of where you stand with me in case he does.”

“He won’t… There’s still time for you to change your mind, if it’s too much for you or Dahlia.”

“It’s not, promise.”

“Thank you… For everything.” He presses my fingers to his lips again, and I take a deep breath. Here it goes… “I’m pregnant. I had an ultrasound first thing this morning to confirm.”

“That’s wonderful,” he says as he rubs his thumb back and forth along the back of my hand. “Do you want me to help tell Cain?”

“No.” I shake my head, my eyes stinging with the tears fighting against me. “If I tell him, he will just run away with me. And I don’t want to run away. I want to stay here with my friends.”

“Maybe not… We went for a climb today. He sounded like he may have opened his mind a bit… I heard him tell you that he loves you in the hospital. He doesn’t take those words lightly.”

“He was on morphine...”

“I think you should talk to him… You two share passions and work together. You make his meals and have them delivered; he’s been making jewelry for you and having us give it to you as secret gifts since he opened Emberlight. You two even share your favorite color. You talk about almost everything… Except for the biggest roadblocks in your ways.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Alright.” He nods. “Well… Now we won’t have to try for a baby. Although I wouldn’t have minded the fucking.” He flashes his brow, smiles, and tugs at my hair. I can’t help but laugh.

“Violet! There you are my beautiful bestie!” Pru walks through the door a notch too loud and two notches too fast, then collapses on the bed with her arms flowing to the side. Her dramatic flair coming out as if she had to search for my location in this apartment.

“I’m going to check in on the staff, then I’ll be up and make us dinner,” Dean says as he tucks my hair behind my ear, then leaves the room.

“Pru, you know that I always love to see you.” I turn in my chair and am met with her big puppy eyes looking up at me. “You should be home resting.”

“Pish posh. We are going out!” She looks over her shoulder at the door and sighs, “Girly Pop, get in here!”

“Pru,” I sigh. This is what I was worried about. Pru smiles, and I follow her gaze at the door. Standing in the doorway, with her arms wrapped around her middle and a faint smile on her lips, is the woman I did the intake appointment for almost three months ago. She’s wearing Pru’s emerald silk dress; I recognize it from the many times she used me as her dress-up doll, and her wild curls are popping up as her hair dries. I smile and wave, then grab Pru’s hand to make her look at me. “I had to sedate you this morning,” I whisper. “You should be home, letting Cal take care of you.”

“Oh, he’s taking care of me.” She rolls her eyes and nods her head to the door before jumping up and hanging off the girl’s arm. “Violet, this is my friend. She doesn’t talk, which is okay because I talk enough for both of us. So, anyway, I don’t know her name. But she really pops under the lights, and she lets me dress her up. So, I call her Girly Pop, and she’s soooo much fun. Come dancing with us? Pleeeaaaseee.”

I sigh and tilt my head, making her hold her please face for a few more beats. Her speech is rapid, her tone slightly elevated, and her movements jerky. She hasn’t come down enough; a little extra support isn’t a bad idea.

“I just need to get ready.”

“Eeeeyesss!” She squeals, I laugh, sit up, and slide into my vanity. Pru jumps back onto the bed, rolling onto her back and inspecting her hands as she holds them to the ceiling.

“You can come and sit if you want.” I look at the girl through my mirror and smile. She returns my smile and takes the seat across from me. I turn on the vanity light, illuminating my face, and the room darkening around me turns me into one of Cain’s haunting portraits. I pull out my palette and brushes and get to work. When I’m not on stage, I go light on the makeup. Powders over foundation to keep my freckles from disappearing. Modest colors that feel more natural, rather than the deep stage colors needed to keep me from washing out.

“You don’t need all that, you know. You’re beautiful without it.” Pru says, inspecting her fingers a bit closer.

“I don’t do it because I think I need it. I do it because I enjoy it.” I finish with the powders and grab the eye shadow and mascara.

“Mmm…”

“Pru, why don’t you go get a snack from the kitchen and a glass of water. You need the energy to go dancing.” I don’t like the sound of her voice, like she’s disappearing.