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‘What a small world,’ Katie murmured.

‘We were both in a hurry and he wanted a proper chat so we arranged to go for a coffee when we were next in London, so … we did. That’s when I mentioned we were all coming up here for Christmas.’ Jess groaned. ‘I never thought in a million years that Wanda would invite him.’

‘When was this?’ Katie asked, casually, not wanting to seem as if she were interrogating Jess.

‘Oh, end of November, I think. Yes, because it was my cousin’s birthday too. I could hardly say no, could I? Besides, I felt sorry for him. I didn’t say anything about seeing him to you because I thought you’d be upset.’

Katie was only upset because Jess hadn’t felt able to tell her. ‘I wouldn’t have been upset. You can meet who you want …’

‘But I wouldn’t meet Ned unless it was to talk about you. Why would I?’ She gave Katie a searching look.

‘We’ve split up. He can see who he wants.’

Jess flinched. ‘It’s not like that.’

‘No, of course not,’ Katie said, horrified that Jess might have thought she was implying that Jess had moved in on Ned. She soothed Jess’s ruffled feathers. ‘I was only saying that you don’t have to feel guilty about having coffee with him or telling him about the holiday. I wonder if he’d already decided to come up here then?’

Katie ducked under a low branch and held it out of the way for Jess. They walked on round the rear of the boathouse.

‘Now he is here, is it really so bad?’ Jess asked. ‘Can you call it fate?’

‘There’s no such thing as fate. It wasn’t fate that meant I escaped the crash and those other people didn’t. It’s not fate that Ned turned up; he decided to.’ Katie walked on, afraid she might say something she’d regret if she stopped.

‘Wait. Katie. Please don’t be angry with me. I am your best friend and I care for you a lot—’ Jess caught her up. ‘But I have to say something, if you don’t mind?’

‘I never mind what you have to say. You’re my best friend, as you so rightly point out.’

Jess smiled but without happiness. After a little breath, she said, ‘Are you so bothered about Ned being here because you still have feelings for him?’

CHAPTER NINE

‘No! Of course not. I mean—’ Katie stopped, turning her eyes towards the sky, now becoming a darker blue through the tracery of bare branches. ‘Oh, I don’t know. Of course I still have feelings for him … I always will. You once told me you still had regrets about leaving Arvind even though you split up years ago.’

Jess waited a few moments. ‘I still think of him sometimes but I know I don’t love him. I’m not sure I ever did.’

Katie was surprised that Jess was so sure. She only wished she knew exactly how she felt about Ned. She linked arms with Jess. ‘You know, we all came up here to get away from the past and focus on us. I do realise that, lately, it’s all been about me, me, me.’

‘You almost died …’ Jess murmured.

‘But I didn’t,’ Katie said after taking a second. ‘I did need a lot of time to recover, physically and mentally, but at some point, I have to get past all of that. I wanted this holiday to be a turning point. From now on, I want to go back to being me, a me who ought to look outwards at all the people who helped me – at my best friends and family.’

She squeezed Jess’s arm. ‘And I want this not to be a holiday where I drone on endlessly about Ned.’

‘Difficult when he’s kind of in your face … You don’t think that’s why you and he split up, do you? I have thought it’s because he reminds you of that day and how close you came to dying.’

Katie stopped in her tracks. Ned, a symbol of how close she’d come to – well, to nothingness? To non-existence – to this day never happening, this walk with her best friend, this … Tears stung her eyes and she found she was powerless to speak.

‘Oh, Katie, I’m sorry!’ Jess said, eyes wide in dismay. ‘I didn’t mean to remind you …’

Katie snapped out of her paralysis. ‘It’s OK. Really. It’s a – something to think about but it isn’t your problem. You’ve done enough to help me. It’s up to me and Ned to sort out our issues.’ She smiled, despite her chest feeling tight with anxiety. ‘And this break is about us. I want us to spend some quality time together. After all, you’ve sacrificed your Christmas with your own family to be with me.’

‘Well, it wasn’t much of a sacrifice,’ Jess muttered. ‘I mean, I love Mum but spending Christmas with her and my aunt and uncle and second cousin Ryan in Benidorm wasn’t my idea of fun.’

‘Well, no. Is Ryan still hoping you’ll run off with him in a campervan?’

Jess nodded. ‘He sent me a furry rabbit in a sombrero for Christmas. And Dad’s with his new girlfriend and her family so that’s out.’ She smiled. ‘Even if they’d invited me on an all-expenses-paid trip to the Maldives with Paul Mescal, I’d still rather have been here with you.’

Katie raised a sceptical eyebrow. ‘Hmm. I’d like to have seen that put to the test. But let’s set all talk of men aside, even Paul Mescal. I thought we could plan a nice surprise for Athene and Wanda. Maybe cook them a feast on Christmas Eve or something.’