Page 52

Again, his answer came after a pause for thought. “Not sure anymore.”

I studied him, trying to interpret his answer. For the most part, what I’d seen of him had been stoicism and detachment. If he’d been the same with Amber, then maybe he could have cast her off without hesitation. He may have taken up with her for the fun, for the sex. She was certainly good at both. Then, maybe Joe was right. When it got to be more, when it got to be too much – an easy thing to imagine if Amber was still strung out and wild like she’d been the last time I’d seen her – did Reeve hand her over to his business partner? A man who sold such women to people who would pay a lot of money to break unbridled passion?

That was possible too.

But sometimes with Reeve, I’d seen sparks of something else that hinted at true emotion underneath his aloof exterior. It may have been in my head, a desperate need of my own to find humanity in the depraved way I allowed myself to be treated. Enjoyed being treated. But I sensed it now in his tone as well. In the way he’d said, “It’s complicated.” In the way he’d said, “Not sure anymore.” The words were laced with sadness. Regret.

Maybe that just meant he felt bad for what he’d done to her, but it echoed so much of my own remorse that I had the urge to say something consoling. “Maybe it was a mutual decision then. Best for both of you. Though, I can’t imagine anyone wanting to leave you.”

Once said, the words sounded honeyed and hollow rather than earnest, and I couldn’t blame Reeve when he treated them as such, cocking his head with incredulity. “What flattery, Ms. Wayborn. Are you trying for another present already? I’m surprised you’re not still worn out from earning the last one.”

No, I mean it. I can’t imagine ever wanting to leave you.

I also couldn’t imagine ever saying that to him outright. Because what if I found out that he really did hurt Amber? Wouldn’t I want to leave him then?

I would. Of course I would.

None of that thinking was relevant now, anyway. And until I found her, until I knew the truth, I couldn’t know what I really meant at all.

So I said, “I’m very happy with both the gifts I’ve been given and the methods you’ve chosen for repayment. That said, I’m quite a greedy woman. You’re feeding me – I’m sure that’s all I need to refuel.”

“Greedy woman, indeed. And yes, refuel.”

His grin, the subtle command, the promise in his subtext – they did things to me, made me want to move from investigation to flirtation. From flirtation to conjugation.

Amber, though.

I ran my thumb across an imperfection in the slate countertop and turned the conversation back to her. “Are you still friendly with her?”

Really, this was the question I should have asked a long time ago. Even Do you still see your exes? would have worked. I’d refrained from it because I hadn’t felt like Reeve would talk to me about his past. Not after the way he’d threatened me after digging around at his spa.

I also hadn’t asked because I’d known the answer wouldn’t be conclusive of anything. If he said no, would that mean it was because he couldn’t talk to her anymore? Or that it had ended badly enough that he didn’t want to? On the other hand, if he said yes, I wouldn’t very well be able to ask him to hook us up so I could know for sure. And how would I know it wasn’t a lie?

He didn’t look up from the orange he was peeling. “Who?”

Here I was fretting and he wasn’t even following the conversation. “Am—um, your last girlfriend. Do you ever see her now?” Shit, I’d almost said her name. I had to be more careful.

Reeve separated the orange onto two plates and then turned to me, his brow furrowed. I tensed, thinking he must have caught my slip. But he said, “What’s with the interrogation? Are you going somewhere with these questions?”

I pushed off the counter to stand upright, as if the posture would make me sound more genuine. “No interrogation, Paranoid Boy. I don’t really know much about you. I’m trying to learn.”

“You’re trying to learn about my ex-girlfriends,” he said, wiping his hands on a dish towel, “not me.”

I peered past him at the sun’s reflection on the oven door. “I guess I also want to know what I can expect for my own future.”

“Let’s get something straight here.” He was forceful enough to draw my eyes back to him. “Women before you have nothing to do with you, Emily.”

He may have meant it to be encouraging. But it wasn’t, because he was wrong. The women he’d seen before had everything to do with me. After all, if it hadn’t been for one woman before, I wouldn’t be here now.

He couldn’t know that, but I replied spitefully nonetheless. “In other words, don’t ask questions.”

“In other words, ask questions about you.”

I didn’t skip a beat. “Are you ever going to take me to any of your resorts?” But what I really wanted to ask was, Do you wish I were her?

He didn’t answer, his face giving nothing away.

“Uh-huh. That’s what I thought.”