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But that wasn’t the only reason Jo knew she was right. Jo had almost lost it all herself.

She squeezed her eyes shut. She wouldn’t let that happen to her friend. “What of your protector? Can’t he help?”

A raw sob left Selena’s mouth, and she shook her head. “Oh, Jo!” Selena lifted her head and wiped at her tears. “He ended our relations before the house party. Even if the child was his, he wouldn’t help. Nobody wants a mistress’s child. You know about this, perhaps more than anyone.”

Jo swallowed. Selena’s words cut open the raw wound in her heart. Nobody wants a mistress’s child. She was right. And Jo had gone through hell learning that lesson. She wouldn’t let Selena suffer the same way. “Is it past the quickening yet?”

Selena took a few deep breaths. “I don’t know. I don’t know how to know…”

“You’d feel it,” Jo said. “Or at least, that’s what I heard….” She paused, thinking. If the child was indeed the result of that sordid night between Selena and Mick at the house party, then it was still early and they could seek a good, legitimate doctor.

“You need a doctor,” Jo reaffirmed.

Selena let out a bitter chuckle. “I don’t have money for a doctor. That’s why I am here.”

Jo nodded. “I have some money. I can… I was saving up—”

Selena placed her hand on Jo’s arm, calming her frantic words. “No, dear. Not the money. I shall not take a penny from you. It’s not like you have much more than I do.”

“But I’ve been saving up—” Jo contradicted again, and again was interrupted.

“I hoped… I thought that you might have the recipe. From the time you needed it.”

Jo blinked, and then she finally understood what Selena came for. “No.” She shook her head rapidly. “No, Selena, this is not the way.”

Panic grabbed her from the inside. Her stomach churned from the memories.

She covered her ears with her hands as though to keep out the sounds that were indeed inside her head. She shut her eyes, too, and shook her head.

“That’s not the way,” she repeated over and over again. The smell of blood penetrated her senses, and she stifled the urge to gag.

“Jo?” Selena’s voice sounded as if from far away. Jo shook the fog out of her head, grabbing Selena by her arm.

“Please. There is no other way,” Selena pleaded.

Millions of thoughts rushed through Jo’s mind as she forced the memories away. This was not the time to give in to panic and the horrors of the past. Selena needed her now more than ever, and she would not fall apart. Not yet.

“Fine,” she breathed out. “I… I will go and buy the ingredients tomorrow.”

“You will?”

Jo nodded, keeping herself as calm as she could. “I will,” she lied.

She would help Selena. But not this way.

Tears rolled down Selena’s eyes as she looked up gratefully. “Can I stay with you tonight? I don’t want to spend this night alone.”

“I insist on it.” Jo nodded. “You can stay here as long as you want.”

A few moments later, Jo and Selena settled into bed. They talked some more about anything and everything. Jo tried to keep Selena’s mind from what would come tomorrow. She wanted to calm her enough so she could get some sleep.

And the moment she heard her friend’s even breaths, Jo scrambled out of the bed, strapped the dagger to her boot, put on her cloak, and slunk away.

She locked the door so Selena would not escape before Jo’s arrival, praying that she would successfully come back before Selena even awakened.

There was no way she was going to let Selena use the poisonous brew some quack apothecary gave Jo long ago. She needed a good doctor. A competent doctor. The kind of doctor she wouldn’t find in the part of town where Jo and Selena lived.

She needed the help of someone more powerful than she was. And even though she wouldn’t have asked for help for herself, she had no pride when it came to begging for her friends.