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“Have you seen him or heard of him recently?” Olivia asked.

Victoria shook her head. “Not since that horrid night when Caroline told us that he was responsible for her uncle’s death.” She stood and started pacing, gesticulating with her hands as she spoke. “Can you believe it? How terrible can one person be? He lied to me and as a result, I wasn’t able to visit my family when they needed me. And then he came back into my life with his grand speech, hoping to win me back when all this time he was the one blackmailing people! Including Lavina. No! I do not miss him. And I was a fool to ever feel for him.”

If this was a theater and Victoria were an actress, she would surely be applauded for her passionate performance. Helen’s eyes were glued to the lovely princess’s glinting eyes, her ebony hair that seemed to swallow the light. The rosiness of her cheeks and the expressive features of her face indicated just how much she believed the truth of her words. Or perhaps, she was trying to convince herself of that truth. Because as much of a scoundrel as her husband was, it wasn’t easy to convince the heart.

“You were not a fool,” Lavinia said softly. “You were in love.”

“Isn’t that the same thing?” Victoria scoffed. She bit her lip and looked out the window, her gaze unseeing. She continued, softer this time, her words exiting on an exhale. “Even after I realized who he was—that he’d lied to me—I still thought I loved him. I still thought we could get past this-this unfortunate incident and perhaps be happy…” Her voice broke on the last word. “I was a fool. A fool not to see his true face. A fool to believe he ever loved me. How could I be so naive?”

“You are not naive, Victoria. You see good in people. And I suppose”—Annalise let out a breath as though the next words were difficult for her to say—“he does have goodness in him, however small.”

Victoria scoffed again, still looking out into the bright, sunny day, her brows furrowed. The ladies sat silently, too. There was nothing to add to Victoria’s heartfelt words or her defeated scoff. She was hurt more than anyone in this room could have imagined. And yet, contrary to her protest, it seemed to have not destroyed her love for the vile man.

Why did she love him so?

Helen knew exactly why she loved her husband even after all the atrocities that he’d done. He was incredibly gentle with her at a time when nobody else was. He was protective and strong, and Helen felt very safe with him. He cared for her when she most needed it. And he gave her a family when she’d just lost hers.

He was handsome and clever, and he always made her laugh. And he stuck by her, loved her, even after all the ways that she’d failed him.

Yes, he drank a lot, visited hells and brothels, and had numerous lovers. But he only did that for her. He did that so she needn’t suffer more than she already had. And since it was her fault he’d turned away from her, she’d tried to be understanding. Because although he shared his physical love with others, his real love was only for her.

After all the trials and tribulations, Helen could not imagine not loving Greyson until the end and even after.

But why did Victoria still love William? They’d only known each other a few weeks—if that—before getting married. And they’d separated right after their vows were spoken. At least, that’s what everyone assumed.

But if that was the case, Helen could not understand the attachment Victoria still had to her husband. Unless, of course, the hurt of his betrayal was too much to forget and it mixed with her love until she had trouble separating one from the other. There was a fine line between love and hate, and perhaps Victoria still floundered between the two feelings.

“Apologies for spoiling the mood,” Victoria said sheepishly.

“No, you did not spoil anything,” Lavinia assured her.

“You gave us a puzzle to work on,” Olivia said with a thoughtful expression on her face.

“A puzzle?” Annalise raised her brow.

Olivia nodded. “Yes. See, I’ve been thinking that we all found our happiness in marriage… Well, the three of us here, anyway. But how can a woman find happiness beyond marriage in our society?”

Helen’s heart melted a little at the words. She knew that Olivia was mostly referring to her. Especially after the brief conversation they’d had the other morning about fulfillment.

Annalise let out a chuckle. “Life does not begin and end with a marriage.”

“No,” Victoria agreed. “But you all have a purpose. You’re looking out for your husbands’ estates. You are taking care of people on those estates, helping your husbands maximize their profits. You are the ones decorating the households and looking out for servants. Your lives are not full just because you’re happily married, although, you are that, too. It’s because you help people. You have a purpose. I would have had a grand purpose if I married properly… I would have helped my sister run an entire country. But now what do I do? Who even am I? A princess without a country…”

There was a brief pause after Victoria’s outburst. And Helen realized that she’d been right. She and the princess did have a lot more in common than met the eye. Helen was not born to rule a country, and she had not lost said country either. Her family had not been imprisoned under the new empress’s rule, and her husband was not a notorious criminal. But at the core of it all, they were just two women who wanted to make a difference.

To leave a mark.

That, Helen realized, was what had been missing from her life. If she were to pass away tomorrow, it would be as if she’d never existed. Laney was not her legacy, no matter how much she loved the girl. She had no patch of land, not a thing she could call her own. After Greyson’s passing, she’d lost all drive to live. And her illness made it worse.

She’d felt useless.

If she were to die tomorrow, she might not have ever lived. And that was a frightening realization.

“I know you feel helpless because you can’t save your family, and you can’t fulfill the destiny you thought you were born for. And I can’t imagine how you feel, but you don’t need a separate country to make a difference,” Annalise noted. “It seems like you define having a purpose in life as helping people. And there are plenty of people in London who need help.”

“Caroline told me something that I hadn’t thought of before,” Lavinia chimed in thoughtfully. “With all of us having babes and ordering childbed linen, she realized how expensive that is. Well, not for us, thankfully. But for the working class. She said she had realized just why the foundlings’ home and the Lykai orphanages are so full. And when she expressed her thoughts to Dane, he told her that there is a women’s shelter just on the corner across from Lykai. Women bring their used childbed linen there, or food and toys. I told my stepmother about it. Her husband is a toy maker and she said she’d send some toys for the holidays.” Lavinia shrugged. “I don’t know, but perhaps you can talk to women in that shelter and see if you could help.”

“I could do that,” Victoria said, her eyes glinting.