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“Thank you. I’ll need you to prepare the carriage after midnight.” And I need to have a few hours of sleep before that time comes, Helen finished silently to herself.

Her palms and her body perspired from the nerves it took her to have this innocuous conversation. She couldn’t imagine how she would be able to go through with any of it if she reacted this strongly to everything.

She was afraid, too, that all this stress would bring on a bout of illness again. And she wanted to avoid that as much as she could.

She took a deep breath, her mind taking her back to the simpler times, to when she was a child, playing in the garden, reading a book under the shade of a tree and she felt better.

She would ask the chambermaids to stoke the fire in her room and have a good two-hour rest. She would read before the fire and keep warm and cozy for the rest of the night. And then when the time came, she would be ready for the most daring feat of her life.

* * *

Helen slipped out of the house a little after midnight. She gave directions to her driver and entered the carriage. She didn’t know the exact location of the place. But she knew it was located in the small alley off Hide Street.

She didn’t know how she was going to find the right alley, let alone the correct brothel, but she thought she’d figure it out once she got there.

She wouldn’t want her carriage to be spotted by the front door of that establishment either way. So she instructed her driver to stop at the corner of the street.

Her heart beat loudly in her chest, drowning all the noise outside. Helen took deep breaths trying to keep herself calm. She recited different iterations of what she was going to say once she got there, rehearsing the speech so that she didn’t freeze or make a fool of herself.

What am I doing?

A fleeting doubt kept popping up in her mind, but she shoved it away every time.

Living. That’s what I am doing.

She was so completely engrossed in her thoughts, she didn’t notice that they’d made their way through town. Only when the carriage jolted to a halt did she force herself to concentrate on reality.

Helen put on her mask, covered her head with the hood, and disembarked. “Please, wait for me here,” she told Mr. Holtz.

“Are you certain, ma’am? This is not a place for the ladies. Perhaps, I should—”

“Please, wait for me here,” she repeated more confidently. Then with a reassuring smile, she turned away and slowly made her way down the street.

Despite the late hour, the city was bustling with activity. Raucous laughter spilled out of taverns, and the pungent scent of cheap gin and tobacco smoke filled the air. Helen made her way in silence, keeping to the shadowed corners. She did not want to rouse the suspicions of people around her. Despite the cloak that wrapped her body from head to toe and the mask on her face, Helen stood out from the other women on the street. If anyone was to cast a glance at her for longer than two seconds, they would realize that she did not belong there.

After a few lengthy steps, Helen noted a narrow alley on her left. Without hesitation, she stepped toward it.

The alley was darker and quieter than the street she’d come from. And if there were people around, they were disguised by the shadows, hidden until they were only a few feet away.

Helen’s delicate heels clicked against the cobblestones, echoing in the midst of rough stone buildings. Her breath disturbed the air, leaving white puffs before her face.

She clutched the hood tighter around her. She could feel someone’s—or perhaps several someone’s—eyes on her, staring from the dark corners.

Loud laughter, and then drunken singing sounded from somewhere ahead of her. It got louder until the shadows of three large men appeared before her eyes. They were singing bawdy songs with a drunken slur, treading on each other’s words.

Helen stepped to the side and made herself as small as possible, giving way for the drunken men to pass.

They walked—swaying—past her, not paying her any heed.

Thank God.

If I am to successfully pull off this daring feat, then tomorrow I will take a couple of footmen and go to the women’s shelter.

Helen nodded to herself. Surely, it couldn’t be more dangerous than visiting a brothel in the middle of the night alone. She stifled a nervous chuckle.

Quite a daring lady she’d become.

She paused, looking around. Where was this brothel? Was she even at the right place?