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He turned toward her with a smile. “Careful. There is an art to drinking from a flask. But I am certain you’ll learn soon.”

Helen gave a shaky smile before taking another sip for courage, suddenly wishing this was a flask with some alcoholic beverage inside.

“I wanted to speak to you about something,” she said as he came closer.

He placed his warm hand over hers and gently took the flask from her trembling fingers. He replaced the cap and hid the flask inside his coat all the while not taking his steady gaze off her. “I am at your service.”

Oh, my. His breathy voice and enchanting gaze left her speechless. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Helen lowered her gaze and tried again. “I can’t… I can’t say it with you looking at me.”

She grimaced, fully expecting a burst of laughter from Lord McAllistair, not that he would be unjustified in his reaction.

Instead, there was a brief pause before he spoke, his voice calm and steady. “Shall I turn away then?”

Helen raised her eyes to him in surprise. She had not expected him to be this nonplussed, although perhaps she should have. He’d never given her a reason to believe that he would be dismissive of her feelings or her words. Perhaps the vulnerability she felt at this moment was painting dark pictures in her mind, threatening her so she would keep quiet. But McAllistair’s unperturbed reactions to her bizarre requests only strengthened her conviction that she’d made the right choice.

She considered his offer and shook her head. She couldn’t imagine voicing what she wanted to ask him to his back. “No. But… uhh… Do you mind if I close my eyes?”

His smile only gentled. “Feel free.”

Helen’s breaths were coming out in big gulps. She hadn’t realized until now how nervous she was. She curled her fingers into fists, her sweaty palms damp and uncomfortable in her gloves. Her entire body perspired, and she felt a headache coming on.

Oh, come now, Helen, get it over with.

She squeezed her eyes shut and covered them with her fists. “I want you to be my mistress,” she blurted out.

There was a hoarse chuckle from Lord McAllistair, and Helen’s entire body froze while burning from shame and feelings of inadequacy. Oh, God! Did I truly just say that? All wasn’t lost yet. She just needed to correct her mistake. Fast. “Not a mistress. I mean, my mister… m-my…”

His warm fingers touched her gloved hands gently, almost like a butterfly. Helen still jumped from the unexpected touch. He didn’t remove his hand, instead caressing her knuckles. He circled her fist and tenderly lowered her hands away from her face. Then came his soft whisper, “Open your eyes.”

She could hear laughter in his voice. But it didn’t feel malicious. At least, this was Helen’s hope. Her cheeks were burning, and her lips trembled either from fear or nerves, she didn’t know which. Helen let out a deep breath and opened her eyes. She stared at his cravat for a brief moment before raising her face to his.

“You want us to have a liaison?” His matter-of-fact tone returned her to the steady reality.

She swallowed and nodded.

“Why?”

Why? Now that was a question she hadn’t expected him to ask, although she should have. She knew the answers to this question. But she wasn’t ready to share them. At least, not all of them.

She took another deep, ragged breath, forcing her body to relax. She didn’t want her emotional state to spur another bout of her illness. She knew that it could. It had happened before.

Helen tried to concentrate on the positives of this nerve-wracking conversation. This man wasn’t judging her. He wasn’t laughing at her. He seemed genuinely curious about why she’d decided to ask such a thing from him, in the middle of the day in a crowded park no less.

“I suppose… because I want to experience some passion in my life. And I feel like you would be the best person to teach me.”

“Why me?” His breath didn’t falter, the expression on his face unchanged. Serious. Curious. Non-judgmental.

Helen swallowed. “I feel comfortable with you. You do not judge me no matter what I say or do. You treat me with respect. I enjoy your company and you enjoy mine. Don’t you? You sought me out, invited me here. So you are not adverse to my company.”

He watched her thoughtfully. “And the article about me in the paper has nothing to do with it?”

Helen didn’t want to lie to him. If she were to trust him with her body, and her passion, she needed him to trust her too. “I can’t say that it hasn’t. It gave me the confidence to approach you. And it was what inspired my belief that you won’t shame me or judge me for asking such a thing from you. Was I wrong?”

He shook his head.

“It wasn’t the main factor, but it was an important one. I surmised that you must be experienced in matters of passion. I wouldn’t have approached you on that alone, however. Our brief interactions convinced me that I can trust you to be discreet. But I can also trust you to treat me well. And the article convinced me that you can teach me what I want to learn. You can give that which I seek.”

“Teach you passion, you mean?”