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Helen was glad, but she was also extremely confused. This was a major decision for her. Something she had struggled with and was still struggling with. And yet he accepted her offer and her conditions without a second’s thought. “Why not?”

He looked at her with laughter dancing in his eyes, but his lips didn’t smile. “You are truly baffled by this, aren’t you?”

Helen didn’t say anything, but he must have seen the answer in her eyes.

“You are the most enchanting woman I have ever met. And I would be a fool to refuse you.”

Chapter 11

Helen was nervous out of her wits.

She wished she had someone with whom she could have shared her concerns and doubts. She had never had a liaison before. How did one go about doing that?

What did one wear to a liaison?

When Greyson used to come to her bedroom, she always wore her nightshift, her hair bound and hidden under the nightcap.

Was she supposed to wear the same things?

It felt uncomfortable and strange to even think of another man gazing upon her in nothing but her nightshift. It seemed more appropriate, somehow, to wear an evening gown.

But she couldn’t ask her maid to dress her for the evening and then remain at home without it causing suspicion in everyone. And Helen didn’t want anyone to know about her late-night guest.

She’d thought it all through. She had told Lord McAllistair to enter through the garden gate, which she had deliberately left open on her walk an hour ago. She had told him to meet her in the garden and then she would escort him to her bedroom through the servants’ stairs.

Her palms perspired, and her body flashed hot and then cold from nervousness. She felt like a thief, or worse, like an adulteress, although she knew that she wasn’t doing anything wrong.

She sat at the vanity, powdering the red spots at the crest of her cheeks. They were almost gone, and they looked like a healthy glow rather than sickly spots. But Helen was so used to hiding her marks that powdering her face became much like a habit, and a soothing habit at that. She applied some salve to her lips and stared at her reflection.

Better.

She looked better now than a few days ago. She felt better. And although the fatigue was pressing down on her, she knew that a huge part of it was just her anxiety. So she stood, filled a glass with fruit shrub, and sipped it unhurriedly, breathing deeply between her sips.

She’d never thought that a time would come when she’d welcome another man into her bed.

Helen shook her head. It was better if she did not think of it. If she did, she wouldn’t go through with it. Or worse, she’d cry and cause herself to be sick again.

She let out a burst of nervous laughter and coughed as the drink passed through the wrong pipe. That was totally appropriate, considering how her life was going so far.

But she wanted to change that. She wanted to live her life to the best of her ability, to dive head first into adventure and intrigue. And the first step to that was to choose the appropriate attire for the night with a gorgeous man who would arrive at the garden in less than an hour.

She paced to her dressing room and stared at the clothes.

After a quick glance at her meager wardrobe, she realized that the clothing she owned was old and worn. She’d always thought that she didn’t need new clothes. They were too expensive, and Helen rarely frequented social occasions for it to be worth it. Now she decided that she’d been too frugal.

Her gaze fell to a carefully stacked bundle of clothes in the left corner. She took a step closer and touched the elegant silk. Ah, these were the items that Olivia had given her the day she went through her wardrobe and donated many of her outfits to the women’s shelter.

These particular clothes Olivia had described as something she was either too embarrassed to have donated to strangers, or she’d thought the fabric was too frivolous for them to have.

She’d said they were wedding gifts from Caroline and Annalise. And she had never worn them before as they were intended as nightwear and Olivia had unashamedly stated that she slept naked anyway.

Helen had received those clothes as a bundle, and she hadn’t inspected them before. But the description Olivia had provided seemed to make those clothes fit for tonight’s assignation. After all, what clothes would be too frivolous and too shameful to bring to the shelter if they weren’t meant for a romantic purpose? And since they were gifts from her friends for the wedding, Helen assumed they were intended to be worn on the wedding night.

Perhaps she was wrong. But she decided to give it a try and look through the clothes now, anyway.

Because, of course, now—less than an hour before her liaison—seemed like the best possible moment to sift through the clothes she’d never seen before, in hopes they would fit tonight’s purpose.

Helen wrapped her arms around the bundle and carefully brought it to her bed. She took them piece by piece and aired them out before laying them carefully on the bedspread.