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Had she imagined it? Was she falling asleep and the knock the figment of her imagination?
Another knock.
“Who is it?” she asked in a husky voice, between her agitated breaths.
“It’s me.” The door creaked open and the tall, dark silhouette of a man appeared.
For a moment, Helen’s heart stopped. All the sounds disappeared and time stood still as she watched the shadow of a man take a step into her room.
Greyson?
Was she imagining things? Was she even still awake?
Had Greyson come to answer her question? To scold her for moving on, for inviting another man into her bed?
But the fog quickly cleared as the man took another few steps toward her bed. His gait, his form, his voice—which she hadn’t processed right away—made it quite clear that it was Ian who’d entered the room.
Helen let out a long breath, her heart resuming its tempered beating.
“I apologize. I didn’t mean to frighten you,” he continued in a loud whisper.
Helen was ready to cry in relief and laugh at her own fanciful imagination. She took a few breaths to calm herself before asking, “What are you doing here?”
Ian paused, his shadowed features troubled. “I told you I would come tonight. Have you forgotten?”
“Oh.” Helen let out a nervous chuckle. “I am quite disoriented. I don’t even know what time it is.”
He walked toward her and perched himself on the side of her bed. One hand gently laid on top of hers, while he pulled out a bouquet from behind his back with a flourish.
Helen looked at the flowers with a strange detachment. For a moment, the world froze and her mind emptied.
Something about the bouquets of flowers made her uncomfortable. She didn’t want them. She tried to rationalize the feeling in her mind, but it just refused to work.
Then there was a brush at her chin. McAllistair’s warm fingers tipped her face up to his. “Do you want me to leave?”
Helen stared into his open face and inhaled his now familiar scent. She didn’t want to be alone again in the dark. She shook her head, but she had to be honest with him. “No, but I won’t be able to… um… entertain you.”
Ian frowned, then placed the bouquet on her bedside table and scooted closer. “Entertain me?” His voice was laced with laughter. He knew exactly what she meant by it, and yet he decided to tease her.
It distracted her for a moment, and she felt relaxed. “Yes, I’ll be quite dull company.”
“Very well,” he said nonchalantly. “If you won’t entertain me, I’ll have to do all the entertaining.”
Helen’s head gave a dull ache. She was afraid no entertainment was going to happen that night. Yet she was loath to let go of Ian. He sat so close to her that she could feel the heat emanating from him. And that heat, his mere presence, tugged at her, pulled her closer.
She wanted to touch him. To press her body against his and feed off his strength. Her fingers itched from the desire to touch his bare skin.
“Is there anything you need?” he asked softly.
Just you. Helen couldn’t say that. It was too revealing of her budding feelings toward him. It would leave her vulnerable to a man she’d known only for two weeks. She’d trusted him already, although she knew that she didn’t truly know him. She couldn’t guess at his intentions, his feelings toward her. But she promised herself to live her life to the best of her abilities. To go after her desires. Helen licked her lips. “Lie with me?”
One side of his mouth kicked up in a cheeky smile. “I thought you’d never ask.”
He quickly discarded his coat and climbed into the bed by her side, weaving his arm around her waist and pulling her close. Helen gently lay her head on his shoulder.
It was firm and warm, and he smelled divine. It was comforting having a real person instead of a pillow to rely on. He squeezed her waist, his other hand soothingly stroking her arm. “How do you feel?”
“Everything aches,” she said truthfully. She didn’t want to lie to him. She didn’t want to hesitate to tell him what she wanted anymore. She was tired of feeling weak and of everyone looking at her with pity in their eyes. At the same time, she realized that if she wasn’t honest with Ian, she would step into the same pattern she’d had with her husband. And sooner or later, that pattern would come to the same conclusion. “But I feel a lot better now that you’re by my side.”