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He didn’t want anyone to recognize them as the same two people traveling across the country. That way, he had a better chance of confusing the Shadows on their trail. He had stopped shaving since the night the trip began, and now his beard had grown a few inches, his hair was in disarray, and with the commoner’s clothing and his deliberately hunched-over posture, he now looked like a homeless person or a vagabond.

Helen didn’t look much better either. Her hair was matted, her skin was still covered in a rash, and her clothing was rumpled and dirty.

This is how they crossed the border into Scotland. To make matters worse, as if welcoming him home with tears of joy, the sky had opened up and rained down upon them.

The carriage swayed, and Ian couldn’t imagine what Helen was experiencing inside. But outside, in the seat of the carriage driver, Ian was getting soaked from head to toe.

He couldn’t show up like that on the steps of his father’s home.

No, Lord Atholl would not let anyone inside who looked as disreputable as them. There was a chance he wouldn’t let Ian inside even if he were dressed to the nines, but Ian didn’t want to take any chances.

He knew an inn just a few miles from Lord Atholl’s estate, that’s where—

Before he could finish his thought, something popped loudly and the horses whinnied as the carriage skidded off the side of the road.

Ian cursed loudly. He hopped off the seat and went to inspect the vehicle. The carriage was sitting in mud as cold rain beat against Ian’s face. He squinted to be able to see better and crouched down, carefully studying the wheels. It was as he’d predicted. The axle broke.

Ian shouldn’t have been surprised. The entire carriage seemed to be held together by sheer force of will as if it had already exceeded its lifespan by many years. It was a wonder it hadn’t broken down earlier, leaving them stranded.

But now they’d have to make their way on horseback. And he didn’t know how much longer Helen could manage in the rain without falling even more ill than she already was.

He cursed again under his breath and stood, his entire body tensing. Why did everything have to go so wrong?

Luckily, they were only an hour away from home. And if he urged the horses, perhaps they could make it even sooner.

Appearances be damned.

He was going to ride straight home looking like a beggar. Which, he supposed, in reality, he was. Begging for shelter from his own father.

He took a deep breath, opened the door, and peeked inside the carriage.

Helen sat in the corner, her head pressed against the wall, her shoulders slumped. She raised her red eyes to his and pulled on a smile.

How must it hurt her to try to smile? He’d put her through so much misery in the past few days and yet she braved it all. He didn’t deserve her.

If he were a decent gentleman, he would help her heal and then send her back home in the earl’s carriage, never to see her again.

But he was not a decent gentleman.

And the more he spent time with Helen, the more he realized that he never wanted to be apart from her.

“The axle broke,” Ian said apologetically. “We shall have to make the rest of the way on horseback.”

Helen miserably looked out the window. The rain hit the carriage, drowning them in harsh sounds.

She didn’t want to leave the carriage, it was quite obvious. She was sleepy, drained, and aching. Her red, dry eyes were deprived of sleep, her skin was cracked, and her lips chapped. Her matted hair was haphazardly falling out of her bun.

She looked pitiful.

But then she just nodded and scooted down the seat. And in that moment, she became the strongest person Ian had ever seen.

She was beaten down, cold, hungry, and sick. And yet she didn’t complain, she just did what she needed to.

She was beautiful, his bonnie wee lass. His shining light. She smiled at him as he helped her out of the carriage, and his heart broke.

It was a simple smile. Soft, easy, meant to bring him peace and soothe all his worries.

And that’s when Ian realized that this was not the first, nor the second time that Helen had pretended through the pain.