Page 50

“Truly?” He spoke with such tenderness and care that she just wanted to prolong this line of conversation.

“Truly.” He nodded and added wistfully, “And those words I spoke were mostly out of jealousy.”

“Jealousy?” Now Beatrice was utterly confused.

“Yes, jealousy. You dared to dream. No matter how small or trivial some items on the list appeared to me, they were important to you. And you were bold enough to go after them. Me? I didn’t have any dreams.”

Shivers crawled up Beatrice’s arms in the warm room, her heart aflutter. She loved that he’d finally acknowledged his true feelings about her and her quest. She admired his bravery in admitting such petty feelings like jealousy, especially of a naive bluestocking who dreamed of things that were common to him. And yet… “What changed?”

He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing invitingly, and then smiled. “Because I finally found my dream, too.”

Her heart started beating so rapidly that she was afraid it was going to jump out of her chest. He had found his dream. The night after their kiss. Could it be? She swallowed. “Which is?”

“Now you might find me foolish,” he said with a chuckle. “It’s a job.”

The wide smile that had crept onto Beatrice’s face froze. A job?

“As I said, I was so lost for a long time, I didn’t know what I wanted. I thought I wanted to travel, but meandering about with no purpose just seemed… wrong. And then I got this opportunity. Mr. Richardson, a naval officer and an explorer, was looking to expand his team on his upcoming expedition to the North. Someone with diplomatic experience. He has other naval officers joining him, but he also wanted someone to de-escalate hostile situations and potentially befriend the locals. And in return, I get to help him fulfill his dream while also fulfilling mine. I get a quest of my own and a chance to see the world. And potentially make a difference in the scientific world. Who wouldn’t want that?”

Who indeed? I wouldn’t want that. No, that was a lie. It sounded divine.

“This sounds like the purpose I have been looking for my entire life,” Adam continued.

Beatrice didn’t know what to say to that. He was leaving London. Just when she thought he was the answer to her prayers, the solution to all her problems, he was going to abandon her. “When do you leave?”

He swallowed again, and when he spoke, his voice grew hoarse. “In a fortnight.”

In a fortnight. Right when her deal with his brother would expire. Right when she was to leave for Northumberland to join her husband-to-be on his estate for Sunday Banns. A month before her marriage.

She stood there, frozen, her mouth partly open, but no words came to her mind. What was there to say? Congratulations?

With his dream to escape England fulfilled, her dream to escape her husband had to die.

And that ninth item on her list would never get crossed off.

Or would it?

Could she do it? Could she go through with her plan and trap him into marriage?

Whose dream was worth more? Hers or his?

Surely he could find another job, another dream after this one.

And if she went through with her plan to spend a passionate night with him and he still left her, at least she’d have the memories of him to cherish forever.

“Did you hear what I said?” Adam’s voice sounded as though it came from far away, his face concerned.

“Yes, yes.” Beatrice had to clear her throat since it had gone dry. “Congratulations. I am so-sooo…. Happy for you!”

“Thank you. It came out of the blue, and I had no idea that this could even happen to me and so fast, too. But I think because of you, I was more ready to accept this.”

Beatrice swallowed and pressed her lips together. Now he was attributing this terrible turn of events to her! “Me?”

“Yes.” He slowly approached her. “You inspired me to dream again.”

Beatrice was ready to weep.

“And that’s why…” He paused and reached his hand inside his pocket. He grabbed something and stretched it out toward her.