Page 50
Victoria stared at his hand with a frown. “I have to admit, I did not expect to see you here. Or at all.”
Lord Porter grimaced. “Please, it shan’t be long. I just need a chance to apologize and explain myself.”
Victoria let out a deep breath. “Very well.” She took his arm and let herself be led away toward the French doors.
They walked in silence for a while until they finally stepped outside. That’s when Lord Porter turned toward her and took her hands in his. “Princess, I just wanted to apologize for the misunderstanding I caused the last time we talked. You were clearly preparing to elope, and your… uh… betrothed no doubt had hired men to pick you up and carry you to the carriage as it would have been easier than you running on your own. I have been replaying that evening in my head ever since it happened and I wish I’d acted differently. I wish I hadn’t let them take you.”
Victoria listened to his speech patiently, but at his last sentence she reared back in surprise. “Whatever can you mean?”
He let out a breath. “Perhaps it wasn’t obvious, but I was trying to court you. I was too timid in my advances. To tell you the truth, I didn’t think I was worth the air you were breathing. But knowing that you chose a bastard, I wish I had been more insistent.”
“More insistent in your courting or more insistent in saving me from my alleged abduction?” Victoria tensed her fingers, trying to pull away from his hold, but he tightened his grip.
“Both. I hope you can forgive me for both.”
Victoria pursed her lips. “That’s truly not an issue at all. You are forgiven.” She tried to free her hands once more, but his grip didn’t lessen; on the contrary, he now stepped even closer.
“Remember that night during your charity ball? We spoke in the garden, and you wished for a kiss,” he said, his voice low, his eyes probing.
“Yes, well, it was a lapse in judgment.” She fanned her heated cheeks.
“I hope I can ask you for one now.” His eyes moved to her lips and then lowered to her decolletage.
Victoria blinked in surprise. This ball was full of surprises for her, and she’d been unable to find her footing all night. “For a kiss? Why?”
He stepped even closer, crowding her. “To soothe the past hurts. A gesture of good faith, if you will.”
Victoria’s first instinct was to push him away and say no. Not only was this man a coward who couldn’t even kiss her in the gardens when he’d thought she was unmarried, but he was also a man who’d left her on the side of the road when two men abducted her. He was also the reason for all the rumors that led to her acknowledging her husband and living with William.
But deep inside her, curiosity rose to the surface. Not about Porter; she didn’t care about him at all. However, if she were to spend three months with William and then separate from him as planned, she would once again be free.
Would she be able to go out in search of lovers? How would it feel to kiss a man who was not William? What if that weak-kneed feeling she had felt at his kiss, that heat that traveled up her body, was the feeling evoked by any kiss? Not just William’s.
Unpleasant shivers rose up her spine from just thinking of another man’s lips on hers. She shuddered and took a step back. But Porter stepped closer, too close.
Victoria raised her head to meet his eyes and opened her mouth to tell him to step away, but at that moment, he leaned in for a kiss.
Victoria closed her eyes just as Porter’s lips pressed against hers. She felt strangely frozen, trapped. She forced herself just to breathe, while her mind whirled in panic, unable to act.
Finally, she raised her hands to his chest, to push him away. But at that same time, Porter wrapped his arms around her, trapping her hands between their bodies and deepening his kiss.
When William kissed her, heat unfurled inside her belly and spread through her body, down to the tips of her fingers and toes. This time, that did not happen. Instead, Victoria froze again, a paralyzing cold overtaking her limbs.
Porter moved away with a self-satisfied smile. “Perhaps we can see each other again? In a more intimate setting?”
Victoria reared back and stifled a grimace. If his kiss left her cold like the Neva River in winter, then his following words might as well have unleashed a blizzard.
Not only did she not want to see him again, but the idea of him kissing her one more time caused her stomach to turn.
She felt embarrassed that it had gone this far. How did she lead this man to believe that it was appropriate to kiss her? Why couldn’t she push him away even if that was all she wanted? Was it her fault? Had she allowed him to be this brazen with her?
Suddenly another realization crossed her mind. When he’d thought she was an unmarried lady, he was too frightened to be seen with her, spooked at the idea of being caught kissing her, although he was receptive to the idea of the kiss itself. Now that she was married, he’d suddenly become extremely excited about the prospect of becoming her lover, of cuckolding another man.
William might not have been an honest man—he was a thief, a liar, a blackmailer, and an all-around criminal—but at least he had honor when it came to affairs of the heart. While Porter… Well, Porter was a coward.
And who would have known, but that appeared to be the one trait that Victoria found revolting.
“I thank you,” she said evenly as she finally managed to collect her wits, “but I refuse.” She snatched her hands back in one violent gesture and took a step back. “I am happily married. And the kiss we shared was a mistake. I never meant to allow it, and this will not happen again. Good day.”