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“And what am I supposed to do?” he asked quietly, his voice rising with each question. “Stand by and watch as the vultures pick you apart? Watch from a distance as that monster tries to destroy you again?” His fists clenched at his side, knuckles white with the force of his restraint.
“I will be fine.” Honoria straightened her shoulders. “I am stronger now—thanks to you. I know what to do and how to weather this storm, but you…” Her voice cracked. “You need to distance yourself from me. For a while.” The last words were barely audible.
“How long is ‘a while’?” His voice was hoarse, scraped raw with emotion.
They both knew the answer, though neither dared speak it aloud.
Years.
It would take years for them to reunite again.
There was a long silence as they stared into each other’s eyes, their communication silent but palpable. The tick of the clock on the mantel seemed to grow louder, each sound marking another second of their dwindling time together.
“We will still be able to meet in secret, right?” he asked finally, his voice trembling. His hand reached for hers, fingers intertwining.
She shook her head, tears burning at the back of her eyes, her throat constricting around words she didn’t want to speak. “I don’t know. I don’t think it’s advisable, but we can…” Hope. She didn’t dare voice the word. “We’ll see how things progress.”
“The children…” Jacob trailed away.
“I will say my goodbyes to them, but you have to…” She drew a shuddering breath, forcing herself to finish. “You’ll have to explain this to them properly—over and over. They need to know that I love them.” The tears she had been fighting spilled over now.
“They will.” Jacob’s voice was hoarse. “Every day, if necessary, I’ll remind them of you.”
“And then once it’s over, we…” She licked her lips, tasting the salt of her tears. “I’ll be free to join you. Elise might be married by then and—” Her voice failed entirely, the enormity of the time they would lose overwhelming her carefully constructed composure.
With tears in his eyes, he reached for her; she reached for him. Their lips met with desperate hunger, a wordless communication of all they couldn’t say. Their hands wandered, memorizing the contours of each other’s bodies. Their clothes fell away piece by piece, their limbs tangled as they got lost in each other’s embrace one last time.
Chapter 25
Dear Lydia,
I’ve decided to fight to get my life—my identity—back. I know it’s the right choice for me. But it means I have to leave the Caldwell household… And it hurts. I need your help.
Love,
Honor
Day 1
Honoria arrived at Lydia’s townhouse with her valise, shoulders slumped, rain dripping from her bonnet, disguising the tears on her cheeks. Her gloves were soaked through, and the chill reminded her of the earl’s warm leather gloves she’d left behind.
Lydia opened the door and ushered her inside. “Come, quick. You’re soaked.”
Honoria attempted a smile, but it came out more like a grimace. She dropped the valise to the floor and struggled to remove her drenched gloves with trembling fingers.
Lydia clasped her hands, stilling the motion, and looked into her eyes, staring straight into her soul.
Honoria couldn’t hold on any longer. A choked sob tore from her lips.
Lydia wrapped her in a warm embrace, and Honoria broke. She cried—not with the delicate tears of a lady, but with harsh, body-wracking sobs that left her gasping.
* * *
Day 5
Honoria soaked in the tub, scrubbing her hair for the second time, trying to wash out the dark brown pigment.
Lydia had gone to live with her betrothed, leaving the townhouse empty and quiet, entirely at Honoria’s disposal.