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“Nah, man, I still wanna stay here. Your daddy dearest can wait.”

“Darling, don’t disrespect my papa that way. He’s my hero, my Superman.”

Lily shakes her head, giving up. “’Kay.”

In the couple of very lavender ‘honeymoon’ days she spent with him, Lily had learned that her new boyfriend is a total papa’s boy, since he talks about him even more than, well, her.

After redressing, her CEO boyfriend then drags her to see Queeny earlier than usual, finding the lady already at the breakfast table with, surprisingly, Glycogen eating with her.

“—gobbling up too many of my favorite brownies, my man. Wow, you look pregnant,” the sugar plum fairy says to her bodyguard, patting his belly, when Lily and her man arrive. Upon seeing them, she smiles even brighter. “Oh, you’re early today, Every, my man. I don’t know what’s happened with Gilly today, but he’s been eating my funny brownies—and he never does that. My baby boy’s probably stressed.”

Lily smiles at them, silent.

“Hi,” Every grumbles from beside her, maybe with a “good morning” thrown into the mix, maybe not. Then he realizes something. “Wait, what’s the guard doing here?”

“What do you mean? He always eats here at dawn. Like just now, he consumed seven cupcakes and three brownies,” Queeny says in her high-pitched voice.

“So I’ve been eating his leftovers for days?”

“Yeah, what’s wrong with that? He’s such a cutesy, cuddly, soft marshmallow. He’s like my bestie.”

Every shakes his head. “Anyway, me and Lily, we’re leaving today. Going to papa,” he says, not able to form long, coherent sentences like he used to, still stunned from the fact that he, a trillion-billion CEO, has been happily eating some lowly guard’s leftover snacks for days.

Days. Multiple.

“So, are you gonna eat with us, or are you guys leaving early?” Queeny singsongs happily, stoned.

“Leaving.”

“Then you’ve gotta hurry. I heard that Elma and Elmo at the portal are taking time off early today.”

“How’d you know that?”

“A servant of mine saw them getting blue pills and condoms from the pharmacy this morning. ‘I’m fucking shocked,’ she said to me. ‘Anything is possible with modern medicine,’ I said to her.”

“Shit,” Lily curses, eyes wider than Elma the old hag’s mouth somewhere far away.

“Yeah,” Queeny nods slowly, “I walked onto them going at it once on my way to Dubai, and the scene sure as shit wasn’t pretty. Them oldies had some quite concerning, uh, personal preferences. So shoo, go now.”

Warned with such a threat, Lily and her man turn and bolt, hunger forgotten.



Lily huffs after Every along the streets of candy cobblestones, her go-go heels clicking and clacking along, her lungs nearly giving out. “Bro, go slower. I’m having a fucking heart attack,” she wheezes.

“From my hotness, I assume?”

“From the exercise, you bastard. Can't we stop for a moment?”

“Nah, girly. That shitty scene Queeny mentioned, yeah, I’ve seen it too. Damn nightmarish.”

Hiking up the low hill they came from, Lily soon reaches the top. The hay-roofed holiday hut, a badly disguised portal, stands alone on the crest like a monster lying in wait. With courage flowing into her heart like a skydiver on a death mission, Lily pushes the door open, a hand raised to protect Every behind her from any possible danger.

No danger lies in wait.

Elma is just getting up from a nap, and Elmo is nowhere in sight, although the room smells weirdly damp. Then Elmo, the ancient gatekeeper, not the furry red monster with funky eyes, appears, carrying a cup of English afternoon tea. “And you are back, young lovers,” he cackles.

“We sure are,” Lily says, relieved. “And we’re going back to Every’s papa. Do you know where he lives?”