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In a very anticlimactic way—as the barn is still burning and the firefighters are still working ceaselessly to control the flames, but never mind this right now—it bounds up Lily’s Pleaser heels and sinks its teeth into her right knee with a hiss.

How detailed, ho.

And yes, Lily is still in her pole heels and booty shorts combo, but with a fur cloak from Evera thrown over her shoulders so she wouldn’t turn into a block of ice. Heard that isn’t exactly a pleasant way to die.

Lily Lena Lilyaneyala yelps.

Loudly.

So loud that Every with the whole horde of aliens turn their backs to the fire to see them, curious about whatever the fuck is going on. An alien with a blue bucket in hand is so stunned he drops said bucket, water meant to stop the fire spilling on his feet instead.

“Firefighters, go back to work,” Evera yells from beside our dear darling main character, not wanting to be forgotten by the plot and just vanish into the backdrop of the scene.

What a sad fate.

The firefighters, both non-humans and humans (that is, Every and the head firefighter), resume their attempt at subduing the fire, but to no avail. The flames flicker ever more brightly with every pitter-patter of ice-melted water thrown pathetically on it.

Now cue in our favorite line: welp, too bad.

Yep, and that’s just what Every is feeling right now, kinda chill compared to his other ice planet brethren who fight the glowing fire with despair ever growing in their big hearts. Because oh no, their food reserve is burning down. Their barn, the only one on this poor, desolate planet.

Someone should really report Evera’s leadership to HR, but too bad she is sleeping with the very HR.

Too.



“Quit looking at me like I knocked your grandma up.” Every speaks to Lily, finally having enough of her mean-assed stares.

“What? That’s a disgusting mental image, dude. And I don’t even have a grandma. I cannot believe you actually said such an absurd thing. No, actually, I can totally believe that.” Lily sighs from her seat on the oversized couch that passed through who knows what else.

The fire finally went out about three hours before, and after the head firefighter sent everyone back to whatever literal cave they emerged from, Lily trotted behind the Darkindeep Ebonyngrey Wolfmane siblings back to their respective abode.

Or basically their colossal palace of a military complex, built on the blood of the aliens, whatever that means.

“Then quit looking at me that way, sugartits,” Every repeats.

“Not my fault; I still can’t believe you became a fucking bird, man.”

“I wasn’t a bird, girly. I just shifted into an alien. And those weren’t feathers but scales. Scales. And you don’t have the right to be shocked anymore. You saw me shift into a dragon and a bear to save your life, and you said nothing.” The man gestures wildly with his hands like Lily’s overzealous economics professor from back on Earth.

He had become fully human for over an hour now, ever since his body temperature rose and the scales were no longer a necessity. Ever since they came back to this heater-warmed living room, that is. And this just makes you wonder that perhaps the alien population would turn human too, if only they had the right heating systems.

Now, background information would tell you that they could not, as they are full-blooded native aliens. Unlike Every, whose case is that his great grandma had a little affair with her alien underdog and had his grandfather, making him slightly alien, thus the ability to shift into birds of paradise.

They just disappeared into thin-fucking air (or more likely, his flesh) as his skin turned from baby blue to a sad shade of tan that isn’t really tan anymore thanks to him not having been to the beach in weeks.

Out of no-fucking-where, an alarm sounds, alerting Lily, who had started to doze off into a calm nap to make up for the newest chaos that had yet again interrupted her main character life.

“Ah, fuck, not another fire,” she screams, her voice shattering a fucking flower vase.

She turns to her man, who simply yawns and stretches his muscled body like a cat, before reaching for his phone. “Nah, sugartits, it’s just papa calling. I set his ringtone to this, ya know, so I wouldn’t miss any calls of his.”

“Cool. And what’s the ringtone for my number?”

Evera, sitting on the calfskin sofa nearby, inputting numbers into her Excel spreadsheet, rolls her eyes.

Anyway.