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But curiosity kills the cat, and her man is a curious man, so he bends his tall frame down to take a look. “Wait, that’s not what a vibe remote looks like.”

Lily just gawks at him.

The sugar plum fairy raises a thin eyebrow. “How’d you know that? So are you a collector or a user?”

Every grumbles at her, his dear friend. “Shouldn’t you be organizing your troops, regent?”

“My troops, my ass. The only ones I have are you, Gilly-boy, and six other nutcrackers. That makes eight. And my six nutcracker guards are probably busy cracking nuts at the moment anyway, since they haven’t had any human contact apart from us for a few years now.”

“Nah, they’re not doing whatever weird shit you said.” He points to the guards, so easily spotted in their bright tights. They stand off under the wolf banner with his mean mafia men, a couple of them even conversing with Kolyan the Enforcer.

“Well, pity. Anyway, tomorrow midday, after lunch, we will go and start the battle.”

The sugar plum fairy is just so chill.

Lily licks her luscious bottom lip, an expression for heroines when they are serious. “What about we go face them since morning instead, so we have more time?”

“After breakfast, you mean?” Every asks his girl, hunching down to her height because he’s just so tall.

Queeny joins in. “Yeah, I don’t want to miss the caviar pancakes that are gonna be delivered next morning. For lunch, we’ll just have to make do with sandwiches and protein shakes from the royal cafeteria, I guess.”

“The cooks must be busy,” Lily comments. That said, she turns to her hot man sleepily. “Carry me, will ya, handsome? I’m too tired to walk to bed.”

Every, confused by this sudden and unexpected development, simply stares at her as she plops sleepily down onto the floor, not caring to preserve the holiness of her fairy queen title and status and all that. She sure is more confusing than the reading parts of English SATs.

“Alright,” he mutters, shaking his head softly. “Up you go, my fairy queen, Dairy Queen. You are tired from using that pretty head of yours all day, aren't you, sweet girl?”

Huh, guess Every can be all sweet and caring when he wants to.

It’s just that this doesn’t happen that often.

Only when our story feels flat and sodden, and is in dire need of some romancing.

And some sappy scenes.

Through the winding and spiraling corridors Lily’s man goes, with her empty head lolling on his shoulder, her body hoisted up in his arms, and her legs curled up under her small frame. Like a tiny bunny in the arms of a bear, though bears in the wild would cook bunnies up for breakfast and grill their meat. Or eat them raw, most of the time.

So good thing Lily isn’t an actual bunny, then.

And her boyfriend is just a bear shifter, not an actual one either.

Safe behind the doors of their shared room, he watches as she sleeps, inhaling and exhaling softly, totally not snoring thanks to her magical power of preservation as the main character of the novel. Her eyebrows are less arched in her sleep, and her long lashes flutter lightly against her soft, rosy cheeks. He removes her hair from her signature Why-En bun, long, flaming red strands spilling freely down onto the plush duck down pillow.

At least it’s not a jelly one this time, or she would really risk injury by ant bite.

Not that there are any ants in Fairyland, for obvious reasons.

And the prose is really heading from serious to sappy now.

Nah, more of wholesome.

Alright. Every sighs at how wholesome the scene before him is. And since he is an unhygienic human man whenever his girlfriend isn’t around to nag about it—technically she isn’t around at the moment, at least her mind isn’t—he plops down beside his girl without changing out of his thousand-dollar suit, brushing his teeth, or taking a shower.

Note that he still smells the same as always, fresh and felicitous in his sandalwood, sea salt, and cinnamon cologne.

He curls his tall frame behind his girl, brushing stray hair strands out of his face, a gesture love interests always do for their slumbering partner, and spoons her.

Now, this might sound nice, but in Lily’s unconscious, dreaming head, things aren’t at all nice.