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“I love you, Tyler Fantana.” Josh held his face. “Every second of every day for most of my life, even when we were apart, I loved you. Even before I had a real reason, I knew. You were it for me. My once and forever.”
“Don’t.” Tyler wiped his face. “I’m not worth it.”
“Tough. Because I will never stop loving you. Not just the smart bits, the sexy bits, or the nice bits. The ugly bits too. All your pieces. Everything you got in there.” He poked Tyler’s chest. “Look at me. And if it takes me the rest of my life to prove it, I’m ready. So help me.”
Tyler scowled. “I don’t deserve that.” He started to shake his head, to explain why that was impossible, but Josh wouldn’t let him.
Josh stroked his cheek. “The only thing that matters now is who you’ve become, no matter what they threw at you. You’ve got nothing to prove to anyone, least of all me.”
Tyler gave a small, grateful smile. “I don’t deserve you.”
He held Josh close, overwhelmed with gratitude, with relief. Josh still wanted him… all the messy, broken pieces, even knowing the ugliness under the surface. Maybe his father would finally let go of him.
“I know you, Tyler Fantana, every rude, beautiful bit of you. And you know me. That’s all. I need you to hear me, because that’s the only thing that matters. No games. Just us.”
Tyler sniffed, then nodded. “Agree.”
Josh pulled him close. “I want all of you. Always.”
Tyler tugged Josh down onto his chest, holding him still for a moment, just breathing together, fitting into each other puzzle-piece close, one heart beating in the dark. This was what he wanted. This was the part he couldn’t explain away or avoid.
The tender silence that he only ever felt with Josh settled over them.
Josh gave a big, contented sigh. “You and me. Whatever it takes.”
Tyler asked, “Josh?”
“Mmmh.” Sounded like someone was getting sleepy.
“I love you too.” Tyler pulled back to gaze at Josh. “So much. Even if you didn’t, I would love you.”
Josh smiled. “You don’t have to.”
“I just wanted you to know.” Tyler chuckled at that. “Jeez.”
“I don’t mean like that. Sorry.” Josh pressed lips to his temple. “Hey, I loved you even when you were imaginary. But real Tyler is a million times better than my fake made-up facsimile.” His smile turned rueful. “I just wish I’d told you sooner. Can you imagine? We wasted so much time.”
“Not wasted,” Tyler said. “Maybe we just… needed to grow into this. To be ready for each other. Live some. Grow some. Time isn’t always a bad thing.”
“Amen. Every minute I get, I get to have with you,” Josh whispered.
“I don’t know what’s going to happen with the Swells. My contract is up soon, but I’m pretty confident they’ll renew. What I don’t want is any of that crap getting between this. Us.” He moved a hand between them. “We talk. We figure it out. We find a way.”
Josh blinked. “Okay.”
“Nothing wasted.” He tilted his head up, meeting Josh’s gaze. “Together from now on. Deal? We’ll figure it out. Promise me.”
Josh kissed him, a sweet and binding silent oath that set the world right. “Deal. Together. Through everything. I promise.” He dragged a firm X over his heart. “Hope to die.”
Here, in Josh’s arms, the past didn’t matter. The future was hazy. What he could see was this perfect moment of being understood and accepted completely.
Tyler knew one thing for sure: they would face each challenge side by side. And with Josh beside him, he could overcome anything.
Chapter Twelve
JOSH WIPED the sweat from his brow as he watched Tyler pull away in his truck after their morning run. Alone, he pushed through the locker room doors, his muscles burning and pulse slowly settling. Tyler’s imminent departure clouded Josh’s mind. The Swells wanted him back in San Diego in the next week or two. No surprise, but they had run out of time.
Inside the empty athletics office, he stripped off his soaked shirt and shorts in the little bathroom and stepped into the coaches’ shower. As water cascaded over his sore muscles, he scrubbed sweat off. He hadn’t figured out what was supposed to happen after Tyler left.
