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“No. I’m not going anywhere. You can’t say anything that will make me leave. I know you’re scared of letting me in, of being with me without an expiration date on loving and getting hurt again—” Gideon said, holding her so tight she never wanted him to let her go.

“I wrote the letter to your family,” she confessed, and she felt his arms slip from her. She watched him slump down in the kitchen chair.

“How? Why?” The hurt in his voice nearly stopped her heart.

“The night you tried to kill Kennie, you nearly got yourself killed. I couldn’t trust that you wouldn’t try again if you got your memories back, and I won’t force you to stay in a place that took the lives of those you cared for. You lost so much time, and you were never meant to end up here.” Aerin knelt in front of him, resting her hands on his knees. “Maybe we only feel as intensely as we do now because we knew it would end eventually. You belong with your clan, with some nice vampire who can give you more than I, without a single sacrifice.”

“How did you know where to send the letter?”

“Your First Mate, Marissa, left a letter with information to contact your family. I hid it from you and wrote to your sister,” Aerin confessed. “I thought you wouldn’t do it yourself because we were happy.”

“What’s so wrong with being happy?” Gideon asked, resting his forehead against hers.

“Nothing. I did this because I want you to be happy. I didn’t want you to decide without seeing them first, without facing reality. It’s easy to ignore the possibility of a family out there somewhere, but I want you to have all the options.”

“You didn’t do this for me. You did this because you were afraid of us. If you sent the letter for me, then you’d have told me about Marissa’s letter. You’d have let me write to my family, and figure out how I wanted to do this. Instead, you kept it a secret. All this time, you were waiting for them to turn up and blindside me with their own wishes for my return. You wanted them to take me away so you wouldn’t have to be the one to end this.”

“That’s not true.”

“Yes, it is.”

“Maybe not today or tomorrow, but you’re going to leave, and I don’t want some long, drawn-out goodbye.”

“Well, you made sure that became our reality.” Gideon got up and marched down the hall.

“I don’t want you to leave angry.” Aerin stood up and followed him, not wanting this to be goodbye.

“I’m not angry. I’m heartbroken,” Gideon snapped, his face tight with the emotions she herself struggled to keep buried. “But as you said, our deal is done. You brought me my family, and now the coffin is yours. Auction it off and fix this place up, and you’ll have got everything you wished for, a shiny new home, all to yourself.”

“Don’t say it like that. I do love you,” Aerin said, not wanting him to put their feelings down to a transaction. She reached for his arm, but he shrugged her off.

“I hope you find happiness again, a family of your own.” Gideon picked up the suitcase. “But being with you was never a sacrifice. Even if you don’t believe it, maybe this is where I was meant to be. Neither of us knew what fate had planned for us. I do know one thing for sure. As soon as I walk out this door, we will both regret this moment for the rest of our long lives.”

Aerin’s lips parted, to beg him to stay, to take back everything she had said, but instead she turned her back on him, unwilling to watch him go or let him see the tears in her eyes. She jumped at the sound of the door slamming, and the tears streamed down her face as she buried her face in her hands.

What have I done? Aerin thought, seeing the coffin in the basement with his books that she had forgotten to pack scattered on the floor. She headed for the caves. The water called to her, and desperate to quiet the panic and regret, to stop herself from going after him, she swam miles from the cove, the farthest she had ever gone, until every muscle in her body burned and her tail ached. If she was going to get used to being alone in regret and heartache, she might as well start now.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Aerin

Days passed before Aerin dragged herself out of the ocean and back to civilization. She wanted to make sure Gideon and his brother had left before daring to set foot on land again. Dragging her feet up the stairs to the shower, she heard a knock on the door and decided to ignore it. At this late hour, it was probably just a package that would survive being left on the porch. She was about to take another step when the knocking became more persistent.

I should’ve stayed away longer. Aerin snarled at the intrusion and opened the door to find Calipsa standing on her porch with her girls hiding behind her.

“I’m sorry, but I’m not in the mood for visitors,” Aerin said, but Calipsa blocked the door with her foot.

“Trust me, I don’t want to be here either, but we tried to come by yesterday and this morning, and you weren’t here.”

“I was swimming—” Aerin started, wishing she was still beneath the waves or on a nice bed of moss fast asleep under the stars.

“Well, we are here now, and the girls have something to tell you,” Calipsa said. “Girls! Show her what you’ve done.”

Both girls came out from behind her back sheepishly.

Shelby stepped forward first and produced an envelope from behind her back. Aerin stared at the envelope, not believing her eyes. It can’t be the letter I sent to his family.

“Where did you get this? Why do you have this?” She snatched the letter from Shelby’s hand and ripped it open. There it was in black and white, her letter to the Blackwater family, telling them exactly where to find their lost king. But even if they didn’t get the letter, his brother would’ve turned up regardless; it didn’t matter whether she sent it.